Ask the DN characters
by BlOo KiSsEs
Summary: ask them anything. i promise they'll answer to their best ability.
1. Chapter 1

Bloo: here I am, making another fanfic-thing instead of uploading my other crap. Aren't I the greatest?! :D

Mello: no. now get on with it.

Bloo: jeez, okay. No need to act like a bi-

Near: why are we here?

Bloo: so the wonderful peoples can ask questions and get them answered! That's why, ya' little sheep.

Matt:*continues to play video games*

L: I do not want to be ge-

Bloo: I have candy in the kitchen.

L: *in the kitchen in 0.2 seconds*

Bloo: and chocolate.

Mello: I like this girl.

Bloo: and strawberry ja-

BB: JAM. YES!

Bloo: go ahead, ask ANYTHING you want, peeps. Anyone you want. Light Imagay haters are welcome.

Light; What? Why?

Bloo; cause I really, really, really, really, really dislike you. Almost hate you, actually. But I can't hate anyone.

L: we ran out of candy.

Bloo: already? Jeez. Well… review to fuel L's candy supply! Please! He needs it to survive!


	2. the REAL L

**Bloo**: Wow. So many reviews already! Lets get this started! First is **_AiyanaMiyuki_**.

_**AiyanaMiyuki**_: Hey Beyond, can we go on a mass killing spree together?  
I have 30 jars of jam, a fast car and several kitchen knives, you up for it? :D

**BB**: OMG YES. OF COURSE I A-

**L**: ahem. Beyond?

**BB**: oh. Right… *whispers* meet me in the park at midnight. ;)

**Bloo**: Okay… well then... thank you **_AiyanaMiyuki_**. Now here's **_LifeTheNinetails_**!

**_LifeTheNinetails_**: How did L become so smart? *Gives L a giant strawberry cake*

**L**: I was born with an excellent brain and raised in an orphanage for genius children. And thank you for the cake :)

**Mello**: I want some questions…

**Bloo**: Don't worry. They're coming. Last but certainly not least,_** I Am The Real L**_.

**L**: what? Bu… but I am the real L. I am!

**_Light: ha._**

**_I Am The Real L_**: OK let me start by saying i hate the official protagonist or Light.

**Light**: What? Why? I'M HOT!

**Bloo**: You're the reason why all the awesome people died. You buttnugget.

**Light**: buttnugget?

**Bloo**: yes. Buttnugget. Now shhh. More questions.

**_I Am The Real L_**: sheep why are you a sheep?

**Near**: I don't see myself as a sheep. I am a normal human being like everyone else he-

**Matt**: I heard him go baa once.

**Mello**: AHA!

**Near**: …

**I Am The Real L**: Mello have you ever not PMSed?

**Mello**:THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TON MEANB?!

**Matt**: Mells, calm your tits.

**Mello**: SHUT UP MATT!

**Bloo**: lolol.

_**I Am The Real L**_: L why are u so awesome? Wait I am L... that's it for now.

**L**: I-I am the real L… why are you so confusing?!

**Bloo**: he is so awesome because he's L! but you already know that, don't you?

**Mello**: I think he's having an aneurism.

**Matt**: *still playing super Mario* I'm sure he's fine.

**Bloo**: uh oh. He's spazzing… we should stop here. Thank you lovely people for reviewing! *gives out L plushies*

**Mello**: bye.

**Matt**: see ya

**BB**: (insert insane laughter)

**L**: bye…

**Light**:*sobbing in emo corner.*


	3. Cybermen

**Bloo**: wow. Uploading two days bin a row? It's a miracle… first up is **_Emma_**.

**_Emma_**: A good evening to all of you. I have a few questions for everybody

**Bloo**: Yay!

**_Emma_**: Mello, does your inferiority complex have anything to do with the fact that you're an orphan and are in constant need of love and appreciation? And if that is so does that mean that you knew your parents and they were doting upon you and now you're trying to compensate that with L's approval?

**Mello**: wow. Uh… wait. INFERIORITY COMPLEX?! Oh hell no. I don't have-

**Matt**: just answer the damn question.

**Mello**:… yeah, I do need a lot of love and attention, but that's what Matt is for.

**Matt**: yeah. Wait, wha-

**Mello**: and the second thing…. Fuck you. We all want L's fucking approval. We were raised that way.

**Bloo**: Mello, please be nice.

** Mello**: whatever.

**_Emma_**: Matt, are your video games a way of escaping reality and living in a fantasy world to isolate yourself, or are you simply above everything else?

**Matt**: *too busy playing Zelda* wha? Yeah. The second one. *continues playing*

**Mello**: how come he can half-ass his answers when i have to expla-

**Bloo**: shh. More questions.

**_Emma_**: Near, in your position at the top for succeeding L you must be very lonely and yet you seem to have no interest in indulging in closer human contact. Has your experience with criminals permanently repelled you from the human kind or is there something else?

**Mello**: he's a robotic sheep. That's what.

**Near**: I tend to not relate to other like a regular person my age because emotions get in the way of rational thinking and common sense. I find it a waste of time.

**_Emma_**: L, you, unlike Near, seem to have a somewhat subconscious need for human interaction. That could be seen in your relationship with Watari and Light. Have you ever regretted becoming a detective and disregarding your own right of a personal life because of it?

**L**: I could never regret becoming a detective. And I am fine with not having a personal life, like near said, too much emotion could distract me very easily and hinder my rational thinking. But no emotional attachments would make me go mad.

**_Emma_**: Light, with your superiority complex, egocentrism and almost complete disregard of the welfare of your family, you appear to be a far cry from the principled man your father used to be. Where did things go wrong?

**Light**: nothing went wrong. I am perfectly fine the way I am, and my father would be proud of me.

**Bloo**: ….lies.

**_Emma_**: BB, I have to admit that you're my favorite kind of crazy :). Your plan to defeat L in the only real way that would affect him was brilliant, but have you ever considered dropping it all? To just say "F*** you, L", live your life far way and let bygones be bygones?

**BB**: that does make sense, and I would do it, but L is the only interesting human I can mess with, so I tend to drag it as long as I can… Heh Heh…

**_Emma_**: Sorry for the long comment.  
PS: Light, you suck.

**Light**: D: well… fine. Fuck you.

**Bloo**: lol. Okay. Next is **_AiyanaMiyuki ._**

**_AiyanaMiyuki_**: *Colours the L plushies eyes red* Look now it's you Beyond! I just need some jam for the plushies mouth and I'll be done... It'll be my present to you before we go on our killing spree! :3

**BB**: awh! Why are you so nice? Hahaha! Can't wait till then~

**Bloo**: okay, a lot more questions… now its **_LeftyPixie_**.

**_LeftyPixie_**: Helloo.  
This is slightly awkward.

**Light**: how so?  
**LeftyPixie**: Light, I would hug you but as **_I Am The Real L_** says, you're a buttnugget. I wish I could say I was sorry, but you're a prize idiot and you killed basically everyone.

**Bloo**: I thought I introduced the word buttnugget. Darn you **_I Am The Real L_**! Stealin' mah credits!  
**_LeftyPixie_**: Mr. Sheepy (Near), August Buddies. Mello, don't get jealous.

**Mello**: trust me, I am not jealous.  
**_LeftyPixie_**: Oh also, Mello, who do you think would win in a fight between me and you? I'm a girl, so you can't hit me, and we think in the same sarcastic manner so I think a draw. Although I'm probably being generous. (T-T)

**Mello**: I don't care about hitting a girl.*evil smirk*

**Matt**: why? Cause you practically are one?

**Mello**: MATT!  
**_LeftyPixie_**: Matt, do you play Minecraft? Also you classify as a redhead not a ginger. There's a fine line.

**Matt**: I've been telling people that I'm not a ginger. They don't listen though. AND I LOVE MINECRAFT.  
**_LeftyPixie_**: Mikami; are you related to the Cybermen?

**Mikami**: how… how did you know? DELETE. DELETE. DELETE!  
**_LeftyPixie_**: L, have cake. I don't know why.

**L**: I'll take it off your hands if you want…  
**_LeftyPixie_**: Beyond... I don't like jam i'msosorrybutitmeanstheresmore foryoupleasedon'tkillme

**BB**: i respect your opinion EVEN THOUGH YOURE WRONG. But yeah, at least there is more for me! Yay!  
**_LeftyPixie_**: APPLES.

**Ryuk**: where? Where?  
**_LeftyPixie_**: Bye!

**Bloo**: bai bai!

**Mello**: are we done yet?

**Bloo**: nope. Now here's **_LilWhatsHerName_**

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_:_***pokes Light* Why do you have such a huge inferiority complex? It's not very becoming. At all.

**Light**: what? I don't have an infe- STOP POKING ME.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _***pokes L* Hai. *tacklehugs and give cupcake*

**L**: oh sh… Hi…*awkwardly hugs back*

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _***turns and smacks Light* I BLAME YOU FOR MAKING EVERYONE DIE! -But he did make everyone die...- EXACTLY! *glares at Light and has junk food party with everyone BUT him*

**Mello**: this one is awesome. I love her.

**Light**: *emo corner*

**Bloo**: lol. Next is **_ChocoholicBrunette14_**. Wow, your username is beautiful.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14: _**Hi! Remember me? I saw this and I immediately thought I have to review so BB when did you first have jam?

BB: it was a long time ago… hm… I think I was three years old.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14: _**Mello same to u but with chocolate and Mello to me you are number 1.

Mello: I had chocolate at as soon as I could chew solid food. And thank you! **EGO BOOST +1**

**_ChocoholicBrunette14: _**and light get out of the emo corner and be man and yes u are hot. That's all the compliments ur gonna get out of me to u light.

Light: thank you. J  
**_ChocoholicBrunette14:_**BYE!

Bloo: bye~. Now its **_RiinaVenecara_**! Oh god so many questions.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**HAHA, his is seriously awesome! Cheered me up right away!  
So, I've got a bunch of questions, and, most of them apply to all characters available, but some are to a selected few only. I'll start with those, okay?

**Bloo**: okay. Shoot.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**First..  
L: Don't take this personally...but why use your own name as your alias? Isn't that kind of...dangerous?

**L**: no one expects my real name to be L, and I am known for my many aliases, so its fine.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**Light: As you said, yes you're hot..but, please, go die. AGAIN. Oh, and how the hell can you stand Misa? Even though you just used her?

**Light**: I'm really good at ignoring girls. Years of practice. And YOU can go die!

**Bloo**: be nice!

**_RiinaVenecara: _**Misa: And as a follow-up. The hell did you see in that jerk? You might be reaaaally annoying, but I'm a fellow girl. You deserved better.

**Misa:** Misa-Misa doesn't get why you WOULDN'T like Light! He's sexy, nice, smart, trustworthy, and he has his best interest in everyone! But I thank you for saying that I deserve better.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**MELLO: Yes, you deserve all capital-letters, 'cause you're just that awesome. I share your addiction to Chocolate, by the way. (Choklad in Swedish, awesome, yes?) What's your favourite brand?

**Bloo**: Omg I love chocolate to-

**Mello**: well thank you! You are awesome too. My favorite brand would have to be Godiva.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**MATT: Yes, you're also awesome.

Matt: :D

**_RiinaVenecara: _**And...please, help me! I've gotten stuck in this game, you see..  
*smacks hand to head* right! The question! Why didn't you get more air-time? You should've been the main-character together with Mello. Oh, and L on your side, of course, all beating Light in a blink. *nods*

**Matt**: I have been told that the creators had to kill me off because I would be one of those awesome characters who would have eventually taken over the show/story. And I agree, Mello, L and I would make awesome main characters.

**_RiinaVenecara: _***shudder* Near: I don't particularly like you, since I am a big fan of all things Mello, even his hatred for you, but I don't particularly hate you either. Can't hate someone I've never met. BUT. How the hell do you avoid psychos thinking you're a cute little bunny they can do whatever they want to with?

**Near**: I don't. they manage to get me at least twice a month.

**Bloo**: I don't like you either but you are too cute for your own good.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**Beyond Birthday: If I weren't on meds, and not particularly fond of blood, I would be you as a woman. Literally, except the eyes. And the love or jam. Though I DO eat more jam then a normal human..

**BB**: what a coincidence so do I.  
**_RiinaVenecara: _**Oh, yeah. Question. What are your thoughts about gypsies' way of dancing? Could it be used to hide a way of murder?

**BB**: anything's possible with gypsies.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**Watari: I admire you, since you can keep L somewhat in check, AND keep up with his demands of sweets. Have you EVER had the desire to give him something sugar-free without telling him just to see if he notice?

**Watari**: thank you for the compliment. And I try every day. Though most of the time, he catches me.

**L**:*mouthful of ice-cream* damn straight.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**Ryuk: Can you transform, as Light can in some weird fanfiction where he's a Shinigami? Tell the truth, and you'll get a BIG treat.

**Ryuk **: never tried, but most likely. Can I has treat now?

**_RiinaVenecara: _**And as a surprise:  
Mikami: The hell are you?

**Mikami**: I am NOT one of the cyber men! Heh heh…

**Misa**: he is one of light's stalkers and he considers me his 'competition' but he's giving himself too much credit.

**_RiinaVenecara: _**The others get treats too! I'll bring a table - EACH - with top-class, Swedish cakes, chocolate, smokes and games, if there's any you haven't played, Matt, and something else for you all. Everyone gets a table full of their addiction - IF i get answers that only display the truth. And I WILL know if you lie...no amount of weapons, powers or genius-brain will keep you alive if I catch you lying... *gives a very evil glare with matching menacing aura rolling off me in waves*

**ALL**: O_O' thanks?

**Bloo**: ok… yeah… here is catspats31…

**_catspats31_**: Here's a question for you, author: Did you know that this story is breaking the following parts of the Content Guidelines:

Entries not allowed:  
5. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc.  
6. Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries.

I strongly suggest that you put this story on another website that allows this type of story. You can make a tumblr account out of this story because it has the "Ask" feature that other users can use to ask the questions.

catspats31  
Member of Eliminator

**Bloo**: …. Well shit. Thanks for the heads up. I'll try to move it to tumblr then… thanks again. Now, last but certainly not least,**_ LifeTheNinetails_**

**_LifeTheNinetails: _**OK. I have even more questions (and sugary stuff XD)

**L**: yay!  
**_LifeTheNinetails: _**Mello, how do you handle your anger? (I has problems too...)

**Mello**: chocolate sedates me.

**Matt**: and I help too.  
**_LifeTheNinetails: _**Near, why do you like puzzles so much?

**Near**: they help me sort out my thoughts, and I find them fun.  
**_LifeTheNinetails:_**Light, What is the way you think?

**Light**: the right way!  
**_LifeTheNinetails_** :(Gives Mello a ton of chocolate and L some more cake, and Light and Near some Halloween candy)

**L**: everyone is so Generous… wait. You gave near sweets?! He'll act like a hyper albino chipmunk on cocaine!

**Bloo**: okay, I think its time to go now… bye peeps! I hope to see you soon!


	4. Light Lover?

**Bloo**: hey. Here is **_LilWhatsHerName_**

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**LIGHT! MAN **U**P AND GET OUT OF YOUR DAMN EMO CORNER! *pokes repeatedly until he leaves*

**Light**: ah! ok, ok, I'm out of the corner.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**... *continues poking* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke *poke* *poke*

**Light**: STOP IT DAMN IT!

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**… *poke* Heheheh. *has another party, still not inviting Light* And I love you too Mello. Actually, all of you. Except Light.

**Light:** sad face.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**Did the rest of you guys realize that without Light, more awesome people would have lived? Including you L?

**Everyone:** YES.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**And what the hell were those people thinking, naming you L? It suits you, but still...

**L**: the truth is, L came from my last name, which sounds like lollipop. So of course I kept it.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**KBAI GUISE! *huggles all of you except Light*

**Light:** L

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _***forces self to gently pat Light on the head* *leaves*

**Bloo:** kay. Next is **_Shadow_**

**_Shadow:_** OMG HAI EVERYONE! *kicks Near in between the legs and punches Light*

**Near:** 0x0

**Light:** OW!

**_Shadow_****:** I hate you both but yeah...

**Light:** we can see that…

**_Shadow_****:** HAI MELLO I HAS CHOCOLATE! *glomps and feeds him chocolate* why are you so damn hot? Like be honest, can we like have kids and shizz?

**Mello:***mouth too full of chocolate to talk*

**_Shadow:_** Light no one likes you so bleh.

**Light:** you're making me depressed.

**Bloo:** next is** _LeftyPixie_**

**_LeftyPixie: _**I'm back. And yes I was quoting Arnie.

**Bloo:** yes…

**_LeftyPixie: _**Mello, that's not very nice. Matt's probably right about you being a girl now which is a shame cuz when my friend Savage calls you a she I throw basically a diva fit cuz she can't see that you're a guy. Though now you're a girl. Up yours.

**Mello;** wha-I- UGH!

**Matt:** woah, I was just kidding. Don't drag me in it.

**_LeftyPixie: _**Mr Sheepy my friend would like to marry you. You're now married cuz I said so.

**Near:** yay?

**_LeftyPixie: _**Beyond, last Rangers meeting we had jam and sugar sandwiches. I only had sugar sandwiches. Also I think I saw Slenderman that night. Could've been a hallucination due to the excessive amount of sugar I ate though.

**BB:** it probably was Slendy. Should've said hi for me. Haven't seen him in a while.

**_LeftyPixie: _**L, we celebrated your birthday! I had three blueberry muffins. And then you died CUZ OF LIGHT. ARSEHOLE.

**L**: yes, h is an arsehole.

**Light**: I'm getting emo.

**_LeftyPixie: _**Rem why you kill L? It was ALL LIGHT'S FAULT.

**Rem**: what? Oh. Ok.

**_LeftyPixie: _**Mikami. Say backspace.

**Mikami**: backspace. *head explodes*

**_LeftyPixie: _**Aizawa's afro; do you really eat children?

**Aizawa:** seriously! Can you people leave e and my afro alone! It doesn't eat children! … Anymore.

**_LeftyPixie: _**Rangers makes me feel like I live in Death note sometimes. I've eaten sugar, chocolate, apples and doughnuts.

**L:** now i'm hungry…

**_LeftyPixie: _**Oh and Mello? Another friend of mine (Deathnotekisses13) and I frequently have arguments about whether you're "sexy" or not. You sure as hell aren't.

**Mello:** hey, that's your opinion. Most people say I'm sexy though.

**_LeftyPixie: _**RABBITS AND SPARROWS PLUS MORE APPLES. And chocolate.  
Bye.

**Ryuk**: APPLES?!

**Bloo**: next is **_I Am The Real L_**

**L:** no,**_ I_** am the real L!

**_I Am The Real L_****_: _**Near when exactly did you baa. have a robot

**Near:** I-

**Matt:** a few years ago at the orphanage, Mello and I thought it would be hilarious to spike a few drinks. And Near was thirst that night…

**Near:** …yeah. *takes the toy*

**_I Am The Real L_****_: _**Misa can you dress as Little Bo Peep and Near as your sheep. Here's some slutty clothes.

**Misa:** Okay! *Misa wears Little Bo Peep dress and Near is in a cute little sheep costume*

**Near:** I really hate this.

**_I Am The Real L_****_: _**light (didn't cap on purpose) you should meet with BB he might show you some... pointers

**Light**: *looks at BB*

**BB**: *creepy pedobear smile*

**Light**: … I'll pass.

**_I Am The Real L_****_: _**L have cake

**L**: *eats cake in 0.7 seconds*

**_I Am The Real L_****_:_**Matt how do you feel about death?

**Matt**: it's ok, I guess. Kinda' sad though.

**_I Am The Real L_****_: _**here, a secret game console and 20 games that don't come out for 9651 days or about 30 years

**Matt**: I LOVE YOU. *plays games*

**_I Am The Real L_****_: _**Mello sorry here is one metric ton of the best coco evah.

**Mello**: I LOVE YOU TOO.*noms chcolate*

**_I Am The Real L_****_: _**BB

**BB**: YES?

**_I Am The Real L_****_:_** jammmmmmmmmmm.

**BB**: *laughs uncontrollably*

**L:** ….

**_I Am The Real L_****_:_** do you like jelly?

**BB:** I guess, but jam is easier to spread.

**_I Am The Real L_****_: _**i wonder what would happen if Sayu heard light ranting to Ryuk.

**Sayu:** I have. Many times. My brother belongs on the funny farm.

**Light:** hey!

**Bloo**: ok…. Now is **_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_. _**Such a wonderful name…. not that I don't like anyone else's name! This one just describes me so well…

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_**I know isn't it? I am a brunette and the chocoholic part was named after Mello.

**Mello**: :D

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** And Matt, Mello is not a girl (OK it is funny and when I first saw Mello while playing a dating game ((I was on episode 4 of death note when I played that)) I thought he was a girl)

**Bloo:** same here!

**Mello**: grrr….

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** BB I give u JAM

**BB**: JAM!*noms Jam*

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_**and Misa, Light was using u the whole time and never really loved u

**Misa**: Le Gasp!

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** also he's cheating on u with L

**Matt and Bloo**: I KNEW IT!

**Mello:** seriously? You two are idiots.

**Matt**: takes one to know one, Mells.

**Bloo:** next is **_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_. _**Wow.

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**Ha first I would like to ask BB… OMG I LOVE! CAN I MARRY YOU?! I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE JAM YOU WANT! AND I WILL KILL MISA AND TAKADA FOR YOU! DO YOU LIKE NAOMI BECAUSE I WILL KILL HER IF YOU DO! YOU ARE MINE!

**BB:** (holy shit.) Ok, sure.

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**Mikami all I have to tell you is DELETE!

**Mikami**: *head explodes again*

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**Mello I know what you did and don't tell me that you don't know what you did because I have video of it.

**Mello**: oh fuck. I guess I should stop cosplaying.

**Matt**: what?

**Mello:** what?

**Matt:** what did you say?

**Mello**: I didn't say anything. How long have you been hearing voices, Matty?

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**So if you don't want L to see it give me Matt or BB to me, ok? Love you.

**Mello**: you can have BB, I'm keeping my best friend.

**Matt**: yay!

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**Misa and Takada go die in a box.

**Misa**: what?!

**Takada:** no, YOU go die in a box, bitch!

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_** Near what is 1+1?

**Near:** 2

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**Rem no, just no.

**Rem**: okay?

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**Matt you have to love Near! Or Mello. Or both! And if you don't I will kill this PSP! I like to kill things.

**Matt:** uhm… I choose….. Mello?

**Mello:** yes! Suck that, sheep!

**Matt**: Sorry Near

**Near:** its fine. I got my own bitches anyway. * a bunch of hot Near fangirls flock all over him.*

**Bloo:** I KNEW Near was a pimp!

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**Matsuda if I can't have BB or get Matt from Mello can I marry you?

**Matsuda:** sure!

**Bloo:** I feel so alone now…

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**Can you say hi to Mogi for me?

**Matsuda:** HI MOGI!

**Mogi**: hi matsuda. Hi **_Near and Matt BFF 4ever._**

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_**And I love you for killing Light.

**Bloo:** me too!

**Matsuda**: (ego bost +1!)

**_Near and Matt BFF 4ever_****_:_** And last A why did you kill your self? BYE!

**A**: I….. Had some stress issues… unrequited love and such.

**Bloo: **awh. Poor A. now here is **_cometgirl2323_****_:_**

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**Hey I don't know if your sill doing this but if not oh well Ill still do what I'm. About to do * gets evil look in eyes and turns to light *

**Light:** O_O

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**first off this is for L! * gets out giant crossbow shoots so his clothes are pinned to wall *

**Light**: * having panic attack*

**Bloo:** *enjoying every minute of this*

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** ok now that u can't move * pulls out deathnote of my own and slaps him with it* now you can see my shinigami *

**Light: **aw FUCK_._

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** turns to shinigami * have some fun. Any who to L I'm totally in love with you and would * gets out cake* love you to have a strawberry shortcake date! !

**L:** HELL YES!

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**And mells wake up and wont you finnaly get with Matt your OBVLISLY GAY.

**Mello;** gee, I wonder what gave it away. my long blonde hair, or my slutty, skin-tight leather pants?

**Bloo:** no need for the sarcasm.

**Mello:** plus, I tried. He never notices.

**Matt:** *playing game* what? huh?

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**and L again I'm terribly sorry but I cant hold it in any more * French kisses *

**L**: *DAZED* okay… well... okay.

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**now that I got that out of my system Matt again get off that damn game and tell Mells how you REALLY FEEL!

**Matt**: YESSIR! * gets down on one knee and get s a diamond ring outa nowhere* Mello, will you marry –

**Bloo:** SAY YES!

**Mello:** i dont think she meant that you should PROPOSE to me, Matt.

**Matt:** oh.

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** next near I also am a big fan of yours and here you go * gives a 2 story tall real life transformer*

**Near:** I… am actually feeling… emotion! Thank you!

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**oh and again gotta do this to your just too cute and I wanna see how you'll react * kisses on the lips*

**Near**: *MEGA BLUSH*

**_cometgirl2323_****_: *_** turns to bb* and now to you u are pure awesome and no I'm not just saying that because you look like L I would love to have the guts like you have I have had a hard life an abusive past and trust me if I had the guts back then I would have a few less scars and for light I do have to admit you are kinda hot and if you hadent killed L I dealt could've liked you...

**BB**; Thanks!

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**anyways I have gifts for all and yes light since hour kinds hot. you'll get a present to all though its more mine ... *French kisses*

**Light:** did she.. just KISS me?

**Bloo:** yep.

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** and apples for. ryuk.

**Ryuk:** APPLES APPLES APPLES~ .

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_**And anyways now Mikami why do you always say delete?!

**Mikami:** I say it so that I can help kira create a new world.

**Mello**: obsessive stalker...

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_**That's just weird ... and. Misa wake up and smell the phony! Light hates you

**Misa:** refuse to believe that!

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** and now I'll give Mello any amount of chocolate he wants if you kiss Matt for 3 min straight ;) and Matt I'll give you all the videogames and systems you can handle if you comply.

**Matt and Mello;** sure. *makes out with each other*

**L**; I... didn't need to see that.

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** And bb would you be willing to go on a job for me if I give you all the jam any flavors u want? Ill come with for company * kisses on lips then shrugs *

**BB**: woot! Kissed!

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** what can I say I always wanted to kiss all the guys on death note and so with that said meeeellls * grabs and lip locks* and now Matt *grabs and kisses just like I kissed mells*

**Matt**: wh… what just happened?

**Mello:** idk…

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** But if I had to chose the best kissers and don't get competitive Mells

**Mello**: what?

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** id say L * glomps him*

**L:** thanks.

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** any who one last thing and its for l * grabs a mysterious notebook* say I could bring u back with this. Its called a life note it can bring anyone back to life if I would give you all the cake cookies sweets and I also brought back Mello and Matt and anyone else you could want would you agree to come back with me and be my boyfriend?

**L:** sure.

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** But no light I wont bring you back UNLESS L wants me to I know I'm being hypocritical but Ill be your misa if  
u want ... ill write L and Matt and mells name in either way but you only get the stuff if L agrees to be my boyfriend.

**L:** …

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** And for my last question to all the deathnote guys what did you think of the kiss

**Mello:** it was a'ight.

**Matt:** pretty good

**BB:** JAM!

**L:** it was… unexpected.

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** and p.s. bloo if you cant answer here please answer through a Private message thanx and L in my Beowulf your the best kissed by far and to say good by * grabs L makes out with for 3 min straight*

**L:** O_O

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** bye oh p.s.s. your present are all loaded in your own thirteen wheeler outside and light u only get coal!

**Light:** nyeh ):

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** And ok since your so hot * makes out for for 2 min straight *

**Light:** *poker face* I didn't like it. /shot/

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** don't worry L your my only true love... ;) and now me my shinigami * starts to take arrows out of lights clothes * my crossbow and my life note will be awaiting your answers ...

**Bloo:** …. I like her. :D next is_** greyvss:**_

_**greyvss: **_Okay, light was one of my favorite characters. So...*pulls out personal death note*  
Let me see, daroh, I make the trade.

_**Daroh (shinigami):**_ alright then, half your life.  
Now let's see here...a few names here or there should do. *writes down the names of a few of the people who ragged on light*

**Bloo:** oh shit oh shit oh shit we gonna DIE.

_(nothing happens)_

**Bloo:** oh yeah. Fanfiction powers…. YEAH!

_**greyvss: **_Now then light, why did you act so stupid in the end? If you had kept your mouth shut you would have gotten off clean. But you had to go and ruin it.

**Light:** I…. you're actually right…

_**greyvss: **_Miss Misa, why are you so obsessed with light, and why do you wear such *cough, cough* odd clothes?

**Misa:** cause he's hot and I'm a model!

_**greyvss: **_Now then L, what is with your sugar addiction?

**L;** in my childhood, before the orphanage, it was all I had…

_**greyvss: **_Watari, sorry you died, you were a good guy. So how did you meet L?

**Watari: **thank you. And I was looking for a boy that I head was very smart, and had lost his parents at a young age. I fund him in an abandoned bakery almost freezing to death. I asked for his name, but he only gave me the first initial, so I decided to call him that from thn on, and brought him to the orphanage.

_**greyvss: **_Mello, did you notice that I swapped your regular chocolate with chocolate that's sugar free?

**Mello;** I wondered why it tasted like unhappiness…

_**greyvss: **_Near, what if you had an endless supply of toys?

**Near**: I'd actually show emotion

_**greyvss: **_Also light, it appears L has hand cuffed himself to you again, now what.

**Light: **SHIT.

**_greyvss_: **Now then one more thing.  
Light Yagami, cause of death, dies trying to protect Misa from being killed. Details of death, one chapter after this name is written, light actually develops romantic feelings for Misa. He will continue to love her for ten years, at which time his death will occur. So in the mean time, *tosses him death note* I relinquish my ownership to light yagami.  
Have fun writing these.

**Light**: damn, now I have to love her for a decade.

**Misa:** YAY!

**L:***stares at chains* brings back old memories.

**Bloo:** Now here's _**LifeTheNinetails**_

_**LifeTheNinetails:**_ Matt, do you like pokemon?

**Matt:** HELL YES.

_**LifeTheNinetails:**_ L, do you have insomnia?

**L**: Well, i havent slept for a bout 72 hours, so... yeah.

**Bloo**: Now here's **_Fat mama _**ohmaigosh.

**_Fat mama: _**Mello i have some questions for you.

**Mello:** yay.

**_Fat mama: _**you said you didn't want to be a tool for Nears puzzle, but you ended up dying and helping near. so basically you died to be a part of nears game but you also died to not be part of it, that's just messed up Mello...even for you

**Mello:** ugh. PLEASE don't remind me.

**_Fat mama: _**oh yeah and Mello when you said you would be first to Near did you mean first to die...?

**Mello:** … kinda. I went suicidal for a few day, so…

**_Fat mama: _**Misa I would just like to say... HANDS OF LIGHT IS MINE! Lol no I'm joking Misa Ryuk is way hotter!

**Misa:** no he isn't! no ofence Ryuk.

**Ryuk:** none taken. And hanks for the compliment.

**_Fat mama: _**oh yeah and Misa why didn't you kill Takada because she was dating Light while dating you! You're probably going to kill Takada now... RIP Takada lol

**Takada:** ***IZ DED.***

**_Fat mama: _**Light you're okay but you let you're guard down on season 2 and trusted people too much and made too many dangerous moves you were acting like Misa on season 2

**Light:** HEY!

**_Fat mama: _**L's real name starts with a L

**L:**omg, WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?! JEEZ.

**_Fat mama: _**Near I think you depend on people way too much! I mean if it wasn't for Mello and L and everyone else you would be the first one to die!

**Near:** that's your opinion.

**_Fat mama: _**And also, why can your eyes see throw my soul?! You're like Chucky O_o

**Near:** BECAUSE I CAN SEE ALL. Plus I have a friend named Chucky.

**_Fat mama: _**Mikami honestly I think you're a potential rapist, and are you gothic? You always wear black or are you planing on killing everyone and going to there funeral is that why you wear black?

**Mikami:** I am no-

**Light:** he is indeed a potential rapist and somewhat gothic.

**Mikami:** I am whatever kira says I am.

**_Fat mama: _**Matt I have no idea why all the fangirls like you and I honestly think you're the reason for global warming!

**Matt:** D,:

**_Fat mama: _**Oh and type in MelloXMatt -evil laugh-

**Matt:** how do I react to that?

**_Fat mama: _**Ryuk OMG I LOVE YOU! I WATCH YOU EVERY DAY YOU'RE JUST SO AWSOME! LET'S GET MARRIED And HAVE KIDS AND LIVE IN A MANSION! I EVEN BROUGHT A WEDDING DRESS! OMG PLEASE MARRY ME! I'LL BE YOU'RE BEST FRIED TOO! I EVEN MADE YOU A APPLE PIE! WOULD YOU EVER CONSIDER MARRYING A 12 YEAR OLD? PLEASE SAY YES!

**Ryuk:** yeah, sure.

**_Fat mama: _**L i really think you're a pedophile... I mean hand cuffing yourself to a young boy and putting cameras in a high school students house not to mention you spied on him 24/7 Misa was right...you are a pervert O_o

**L:**yes I am and KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF.

**_Fat mama: _**BB you are kinda stupid .-. I mean you basically tolled Naomi Misora to find you no offence but that's lame! Why didn't you make something more confusing for L so he couldn't solve it? Like fake you're death so he wouldn't suspect you and hack into the police files to see how the investigation is going and don't take body parts of the victims it's pointless! And you're house will smell of dead body parts! I feel sorry for your cleaner...

**BB:** I will pour arsenic on your food adnd attend your funeral to piss on your grave.

**Bloo:** what?

**BB**: nothing! J

**_Fat mama: _**Takada do you realize that you don't even have one fan? I mean your just like a 2nd Misa I'm glad Light killed you!

**Takada:** ***IZ DED***

**_Fat mama: _**Sorry if I'm mean

**Mello:** no, its too late! You hurt our feelings, and now matts al emo-PUT THE RASOR DOWN, MATT.

**Bloo;**… here's **_xxLittleCookiexx: _**

**_xxLittleCookiexx: _**Are you all virgins...?:3...

**Matt:** yes.

**Light:** yes.

**L:** no.

**Bloo:** NO?!

**L;** you don't need to know about my sexlife.

**Mikami: **yes.

**Misa:** yes I am!

**Mikami:** you know that's a lie, you little slut.

**Misa:** DON'T START WITH ME MIKAMI!

**Mello:** does oral sex count?

**Bloo:** ….. I'm ending this here.

**So…. Yeah. Hope you enjoyed this mess of a chapter.**


	5. Closet Rape

**Bloo**: Hello! I'm back! And the world didn't end bitches! Ok, sorry. First is **_mellosgoggledgamer_**. Omg, everyone's usernames are better than mine.

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: Hai every1 hai Mello *blush*

**Mello:** hello.

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: Mello, I am matt from another universe. my name is Madeline.

**Matt:** OH SHIT.

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: would u mind if I- *pulls Mello into a French kiss and then pulls back with a blush on her goggled face* I had to Mells! I'm sorry but I had to see if you tasted like Mellissa!

**Mello:** *dazed* OH SHIT.

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: hey matt? can i borrow mello? he's just... so sexy in that leather *blushes harder*

**Matt:** hell no. sorry.

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: * BB! here's 6 jars of jam and a knife. KILL IMAGAY FOR KILLING MELLO! If you do, I have more jam ;)

**BB:** yes!

**_(insert funny chase scene with BB holding a knife and jam chasing Light around)_**

**Bloo: **Go BB!

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: L! I don't have much to say to you... here's a candy cane!

**L:** * noms candy cane*

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: Ryuk! I give you apple.

**Ryuk:** *happily noms apple*

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: Mells, can u get any sexier?

**Mello:** *for some reason, is shirtless and posing on Matt's car* I don't think so.

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: light. *turns to him with death glare and throws a rock at him* THATS FOR WIPING THE SEXIEST MAN IN WORLD OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!

**Light:** AAH! I THOUGHT STONING WAS ILLEGAL!

**_mellosgoggledgamer_**: *hugs Mello's waist protectively, sticks tongue out at light then kisses Mello again* u no you're jealous, Matty! Don't try to hide it in your games! Bai!

**Mello:** ….. weird as fuck.

**Matt:** get off my car!

**Bloo:** ….. hey **_greyvss_**

**_greyvss_****_: _**Okay here are a few of my questions and or just random stuff to torture you guys.

**Light:** noooooooo.

**_greyvss_****_: _**L: why are you such a weirdo? Also, you're basically just running on sugar aren't you? Then here have some nice chocolate.

**L:** I do run on sugar, but I don't think I'm _that _weird…

**_greyvss_****_: _**Misa: to be nice, and just for snicks and grins, feel free to take light into that closet over there. Have fun girl! ; )

** Misa: **yay! * Forces light into the closet and nearly rapes him*

**_greyvss_****_: _**Watari: has L ever done anything really bone headed when he was a child?

**Watari:** yes. Once, he dropped his candy on the toilet. When he went in after it, his head got stuck in the toilet. You can guess the rest.

**_greyvss_****_: _**Mikami: catch! *tosses super magnet at him, frying his apparently mechanical brain*

**Mikami: *IS DED***

**_greyvss_****_: _**Mello: chocolate for you too.

**Mello:** yay! All you people are awesome.

**_greyvss_****_: _**Near: you get this nice, harmless room full of toys.

**Near:** *spazzing about all the toys*

**_greyvss_****_: _**Light: do you feel any for affection for ANYone?

**Light:** well…*stares longingly at L* I do have a stupid celebrity crush on _Justin Timberlake_.

**Bloo:** so does a third of America's population.

**_greyvss_****_: _**Mr. Yagami: I'm sorry about you dying as well. So I have to ask, why do you think light decided on this goal of a perfect world?

**Soichiro (Mr. Yagami):** thank you. And even though I don't completely agree with my son's methods-

**Light:** everyone's a fucking critic.

**Soichiro:** I know he had everyone's best interest in mind. *hits light on the head*

**Light:** OW!

**Soichiro:** it still doesn't give you the right to act like an ass. I raised you differently.

**_greyvss_****_: _**Ryuk: why are you such a lazy arsed shinigami? I mean seriously, moss has more motivation than you. Also why on earth are you so obsessed with being entertained?!

**Ryuk:** *zoned out* … I'm sorry. What?

**_greyvss_****_: _**Rem: you were the best of the shinigami I saw. Do you ever regret the choice you made?

**Rem**: sometimes, because me and L actually have intelligent conversations.

**_greyvss_****_:_** Anyway, now to be evil! The chocolate I gave L and Mello is laced with a drug that completely flips their personalities! Mean while nears toys are simply alive and evil, and will try to eat him! BWAHAHAHA! :D

**L:** Like ohmaigawd. You did _not_ just, like, mess up my fucking personality! Oh _noooooooo_ you didn't, bitch. I will _find_ you and I will lock you in a room with BB on _crack_, you hear me, mother fucker? You do_ NOT_ fuck with L, bitch.

**Mello:** L. calm down. Keep your emotions in check…. Oh no. my emotions. Why are they in check? Why am I calm? This is horrible.

**Near:** SOMEBODY HELP ME! * chased by rabid toys*

**Bloo**; be careful Near! don't step on a Lego! That hurts like a bitch.

**Near:** *steps on Lego* OWW! FUUUUUUUCK!

**Bloo:** told ya'.

**_greyvss_****_: _**So yes, I am evil, demented, and sadistic. Bye everyone, I'll be back to torture you soon!

**Bloo:** bye bye. Now he_ OW! SHIT! Stepped on a Lego. Here's **_LilWhatsHerName_**

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**I'M BAAAAAAACK! *imagines people running away and screaming in terror* SO I HAS GOTS MOAR QUESTIONS FOR YOU GUISE! :D And cookies, but I'll giev them out later. READY FOR QUESTION SPAM MY RANDOM HYPERNESS! OTAY, HER WE GOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Bloo:** glad to see someone excited.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**Kay, so question numero uno. What is the worst thing you've ever eaten? Best thing?

**L**: best is cake. Worst is toothpaste.

**Bloo:** eww. Toothpaste.

**Mello:** best is chocolate. Worst is raisins

**Matt**: raisins are awesome, dude.

**Mello:** no they aren't, Matt. You opinion is wrong. All your opinions are wrong. YOURE WRONG.

**Matt:** well shit. Um, best, EGGNOG-

**Bloo;** hellz yeah!

**Matt;** worst… hmm… gasoline

**Mello:** gas? You tasted gasoline?

**Matt:** I was a stupid child.

**Light:** best are potato chips, worst is apples

**Ryuk**: YOURE GONNA DIE NOW, BITCH.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**Favourite fragrance?

**L**: chocolate

**Mello**: same here!

**Matt:** the smell of a new car.

**Light:** _death_

**L**: what?

**Light:** I said lavender.

**Bloo**: I'm allergic to lavender, you jackass.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**WHAT THE HELL DO I GET SOMEONE FOR SECRET SANTA WHEN I DON'T KNOW THEM?

**L**: chocolate

**Mello**: chocolate

**Matt**: hm… chocolate

**Bloo**: chocolate. But if they're allergic or dislike chocolate, get them a clock :D

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**When you smile at your Goldfish (the snack) does it really smile back?

**L**: I don't believe so. It looks like it, but in reality, they're crying on the inside.

**Matt**: *stops nomming goldfish and stares at them pitifully*

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**What is the worst date you've ever been on?

**Near:** Linda copied the scene from _The Lady and the Tramp._ I didn't want to nudge a meatball with my nose.

**Mello**: don't get me started. Please don't.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**Do you approve of mismatching socks?

**Matt:** HELL YES! *pulls up his pants to reveal a long neon pink sock and a fluffy striped green and blue sock*

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**What size shoe are you?

**All**: that is none of your business, thank you.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_:_** Is it strange that though I'm American and have barely been out of my state that I have an English/Irish/Canadian accent? Is it even weirder if I told you that one of my parents is Puerto Rican, so I should have a Hispanic accent instead?

**L**: not at all :D

**Mello**: ….. NEXT QUESTION PLEASE.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**Are you a Goofy Goober (yeah!)?

**Matt**: yes

**Mello**: we

**L**: are.

**Light**: oh my fucking god. NO.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**Are my questions annoying you? Good.

**Matt:** wha—

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**What is the best way to profess your love to someone?

**Near: **buy them lots of gifts and toys.

**Mello**: give them chocolates with the ring.

**Matt**; marry them at their favorite place.

**L**: share the wedding cake with them at the reception.

**Light:** then kill them and take their money :D

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**Who is the best artist out of all of you?

**Mello**: Linda.

**Bloo**; but Linda isn't here. Sooooo I would e the best?

**Mello**: nope. Still Linda.

**Bloo:** D,:

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**ANNNNNND LAST QUESTION. Which is actually serious. What is your opinion on self harm?

**Matt**: its awful and shouldn't be done. I know from experience.

**Mello**: matt? You did what?

**Matt**: I repeat; I was a stupid child.

**_LilWhatsHerName_****_: _**KAY COOKIE TIME! *passes out various delicious cookies and milk* Yes, even Light gets one. But first... *pokes him* HAHAH! KBAI GUISEEEEEEE!

Light: UGH!

Bloo: *noms cookies* next is **_cometgirl2323_**

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** YAY! *writes all the good guys names in life note* L your awesome and all you guys!

**L**: daaaw. Thanks. * ANIMES BLUSHSH*

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**And next so we can go on that job *writes BB's name in life note*

**BB**: hooray!

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** anyways thanks and light I feel bad soooooo your presents are being sent to you via mu express!

**Light****_: _**someone _does_ care! :D

**_cometgirl2323_****_:_** And back to L I'll see you later and don't dare try and hide ill find u no matter what!

**L**; *_le sigh_* I know.

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**And now back to bb you never said what you thought of that kiss all you said was jam so can you give me you opinion now?

**BB: **it was good.

**_cometgirl2323_****_: _**And now I'll be going *grabs L and activates smoke bomb and disappears*

**L:** * coughing and still standing in the smoke* you forgot to take me with you...

**Bloo:** BAI BAI. Now here's **_Akuma Shoujo23_**.

**_Akuma Shoujo23: _**hiyazzzzzzzzzz!  
This is like awesome!  
So I haz lotsa questions for everyone!  
Oh, and if Akuma Shoujo23 is too much of a mouthful, you can call me Aku-chan!

**Bloo:** Okay Aku-chan.

**_Aku-chan: _**1) L, your so amazingly awesome I lub you the most in death note, will u become my cuddly big brother? i have cake...*jumps on L and clings to L like a koala*

**L:** wow. A koala on a panda. Doesn't get cuter than this.*noms cake*

**_Aku-chan: _**2) Marshmello! Did you know I actually used to haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate you, but now I looooooooooove you, its sooo weird! Do you know why? Personally I think that after you got the scar u became waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay hotter, I have a thing for people having cooler facial features (scars, markings, heterochromia, red eyes, dark circles...). Also will you also be my big bro? I lubz chocolate too! Let's be chocolate buddies! *huggles Mello*

**Mello:** oh wow…. Uh, okay then…* awkwardly pats her head*

**_Aku-chan: _**3) Mattie! My kindred spirit with video games! When and why did u become a gamer?

**Matt:** I think I was five or six when I got my first gameboy.

**_Aku-chan: _**Also do like Final Fantasy? I like Final Fantasy, also will you be my big brother? I haz looooooooots of video games and game consoles at home... *Huggles Matt*

**Matt:** sure. *huggles back*

**_Aku-chan: _**4) Near! Oooooooh I lub you too! You're so cute and white and cuddly looking!

**Near:** than—

**_Aku-chan: _** Why are you so cute and white and cuddly looking?

**Near:** I don't—

**_Aku-chan: _**Be my big brother! That way you'll have a puzzle partner! Aaaaaaand do you think Linda has a thing for you? I think she might! You guys should go out!

**Linda:** *blushes* HOW'D I GET INTO THIS CONVERSATION?!

**Near:** okay….

**_Aku-chan:_** 5) light, ur so sweet and cute...

**Light:** omg really?

**_Aku-chan:_** NOT! I HAAAAAAAAAAATE YOU, YOU DUMBASS! YOU KILLED ALMOST EVERYONE I LOVED! Why are you so dumb? in fact I don't even call you light anymore, I call you Ugly Light cuz you know what, you're UGLY and stupid and dumb and weird and you're a...a...a GOAT!  
No wait, I'm insulting the goats! Well you're ugly and you know it...

**Light**: I… you… *gross sobbing*

**Bloo**: ouch.

**_Aku-chan: _**6) Misa...you're stupid. why? Don't you know Ugly Light just uses you? You should've kicked him in the _you-know-where-it-really-hurts-for-guys_ when you first saw his ugly face! You deserved better!

**Bloo:** yup.

**Misa:** well….. I just like him, ya' know? I guess I'll break up with him soon…

**_Aku-chan: _**So anyways thanks for your tym and patience!  
if you'll excuse me I'll be taking my brothers home...BYE-BYE!

**Bloo:** bye **_Aku-chan_**! Well, that's it…. BYE.


	6. Super Light

******Bloo: I AM SOO **SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING THIS STORY IN FOREVERRRRR. You have permission to slap me as much as you want.

**Mello: **Okay! *slaps author*

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Hi everybody just so you know I love each and every one of you equally!

**Matt**: d'aaaaww. Thanks.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** okay so here are my questions *nudge nudge* Don't lie to me Lawli you soooo have a crush on Light don't cha? Anyway for being my 2nd best character I give you unlimited cupcakes and candy!

**L:** thanks for the candy! And I'm forced to say yes, I do like Light, because the author likes that pairing.

**Bloo:** Damn straight.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** BB: You're my most favorite character in the whole Death Note series! You should have been in the anime don't you agree?

**BB**: yesh.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** For being the sexy jam-eating killer you are, I give you an infinite amount of strawberry jam! Along with as many weapons at your disposal!

**BB:** I LOVE THIS LADY!

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Light: Don't worry Light-kun I don't hate you but don't expect me to like you either. My question you know how Matsuda shot you?

**Light:** HE HAD A GUN. That's how he shot me.

**Matsuda:** :3

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** What happens if Matsuda's gun was not loaded and you succeeded on killing Near? Would you have finally become god of the new world?

**Light:** FUCK YEAH.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** I'd doubt you'd do it anyway because you sooo want to be with L instead *smirks*

**Light**: wha? I- wait. WHATCHU' TALKIN' 'BOUT WILLIS?

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** anywho, since you've only been receiving hate from Wammy House fangirls, I'll give you a first class trip to...HAWAII! Along with unlimited potato chips to snack on!

**Light:** yay! Hawaii!

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Mello: I want your opinion on this, do you truly look sexier with that scar on your face? If so, do you want it that way for Matt or you just want it.

**Mello:** I don't know. Matt would like me whether I have a scar on my face or if I killed a thousand baby seals with my bare hands. But yes, I am sexy.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Anyways, for being a Mafia boss and showing girly hair can be badass, I give you unlimited chocolate, leather and guns. Am I awesome or what!

**Mello**: MARRY ME.

**Bloo:** sorry, but no.

**Mello:** not you, you little shi—wait. WHY NOT?

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Matt: You know how you got cornered by Takada's bodyguards was it really just bad judgment how you said they wouldn't shoot or you just in your right mind because I mean, you were wearing goggles, smoking and you probably played sooo many games that you screwed up your eyes and head.

**Matt:** what the hell? You don't know me. You don't live my life. You don't know what I go through! … But you're prolly right.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Okay, different topic! For being the redheaded, smoking gamer we all know and love, I give you unlimited cigarettes, games, consoles and guns. You are part of the Mafia after all.

**Matt:** WOO!

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Near: You know sheep, WHY THE F*CK DID YOU THROW L'S MONEY OUT THE WINDOW?! All that damn time and sweets, wasted thanks to a frickin successor! *calms down* Jeez, why did you have to do that?

**Bloo**: I agree. *is hit with a Lego brick* OW! Near!

**Near:** I didn't do it.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** But since I'm feeling oh so generous today I give you unlimited toys along with a few more pairs of white pajamas. I know how you like them!

**Near**: yay.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Oh wait! Another thing for Light: Did you kill Justin Beiber? I know he stole your hairstyle.

**Light**: I try and try, but he's UNKILLABLE.

**_Deathday1313_****_: _** Well, it's my time to leave but not without one more thing *smirks and walks over to B and kisses him passionately* see you later BB-chan! Bai bai everybody!

**BB**: bye~

**Bloo:** next is **_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_. _** Heeeey!

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _** YAY U UPDATED! *glomps Bloo*

**Bloo:** *glomps back*

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _** oh Mello I'm sorry for calling you girl but if I said that now I would slap myself. Also I got a death note wall scroll for Christmas that has Mello on it! It's so awesome!

**Mello**: I bet it is.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _** Anyways, Matt, how do I get past this one part in Final Fantasy 13? I swear to god it's causing all of my gamer rage.

**Matt:** I'm stuck there too, actually. Maybe we can meet up somewhere and try it together.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _** BB who killed you? I mean it wasn't light bulb 'cause kira wasn't around, hold on! There was another Kira or something!

**BB:** the author does not know how to answer your question. She's too stupid.

**Bloo**: you guys suck.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _** L! Candy for u!

**L:** yay! This is so awesome of you guys!

**_AiyanaMiyuki_****_: _***Ahem* It's me again! Y'know the one that went on that mass killing spree around the neighborhood with a certain raven hair, jam-eater...? Anyone...?

*cricket chirps*

**_AiyanaMiyuki_****_: _**No? No one remembers apart from B? Ah well, it's better that way, it makes it harder for the police to find me!

**Bloo**: fuck the police!

**_AiyanaMiyuki_****_: _**Onto the matter at hand; I saw how badly everyone was treating Light-kun and well, us sociopaths gotta' have each other's backs, so..BACK THE FUCK UP!

**Bloo:** oh shit.*backs into another room*

**_AiyanaMiyuki_****_: _**And if anyone dare defies my request they will wake up tomorrow morning to me; slowly embedding jam jar glass into their skin, and forcing bleach down their throat. Oh and while I remember, Beyond we should really get together again soon, last time was fun.

**Bloo**: hooooooly shiiit. *backs up even more*

**BB:** sure! Can't wait.

**_AiyanaMiyuki_****_: _**Toodles! :D

**Bloo:** bye…. Next is **_Tori._**

**_Tori: _**(Read this all in a really peppy voice, it's kinda hard to tell when you're writing)  
Hi guys! I'm Tori! Soooooooooo I'm here for the Q&A thingy thing! Cools!

**Bloo;** yay!

**_Tori: _**Mello: You are awesome! (Hands him three bars of chocolate.) Soooo Melloyello—

Mello: don't call me that. *noms on chocolate*

**_Tori: _**how much do you luuuuuuurve Matt? LISTEN UP, MATTY!

**Mello**: I love him thiiis much. *stretches his arms out wide*

**Matt:** not enough.

**_Tori: _**Matt: You rock! I was so sad when you died!

**Matt:** me too. And thanks.

**_Tori: _**Do you wanna play my video games with me? Okay so now you have to go into that room (points to spare bedroom) and do whatevvvvvvvvvvvver you want with Mellyjelly mkaaaaaaaaay? (Perverted fangirl smile)

**Mello:** don't call me that either-*is dragged into room by matt*

**_Tori: _**L: Lalala! You are awesome! (Gives box of sugar cubes.)

**L:** you are also awesome!

**_Tori: _**Question time! Did you really only suspect Light that tiny percentage? I think you're smarter than that! Aaaaaaand... what are your feelings for Light?

**L:** I always knew he was kira. And I don't believe… I feel… that kind of way…

**_Tori: _**Light Imagay: You know you are! JE TE HAIS! Mourir dans un trou, crétin stupide! YOU SUCK! Okay! So, what happened between you and L whilst you were handcuffed?

**Light:** what? No, you suck. AND NOTHING HAPPENED. NOTHING AT ALL.

**Bloo:** ok, ok. No need to speak in caps.

**_Tori: _**Mikami: You're weird. DELETE.

**Mikami:** noooooo. YOU delete! *flips her off*

**_Tori: _**Matsuda: I LOVE YOU! Marry me

**Matsuda**: ok!

**Bloo:** *moping* Matsuda is stolen from me yet again…

**_Tori: _**B: (hands jam) I respect you. Don't kill me.

**BB:** I'll think about it ;)

**_Tori: _**Ryuk: Yeah! Apple buddies! (Gives bag of apples)

**Ryuk:** APPLE BUDDIES! YEAH!

**_Tori: _** Are you and Sidoh friends?

**Ryuk:** I guess. He annoys me a little, though.

**_Tori: _**Watari: You're cool for an old guy.

Watari: thank you.

**_Tori: _**How did you deal with raising L? I know he's kind of odd in a loveable way, but a child L would be kind of difficult.

**Watari:** I'm not really sure. I believe that I was just _lucky_.

**L:** *pouts* I wasn't _that_ bad…

**Bloo:** bye Tori! Next is **_The Wammy House Menace_****_. _**Wow. Ok.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**First of all, I have a crush on the following (in order from greatest to okay); Beyond, Near, Matt, Mello(I am so sorry that you are not first! Have this chocolate as an apology) Matsuda(I literally burst into tears of joy when you shot Light-bulb)

**Beyond:** woo! I get all the bitches!

**Bloo:** don't call her a bitch!

**Mello**: *noms chocolate*

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**Okay here are my questions.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**Beyond:1) Will you marry me? And here is a little secret, I have red tinged eyes and am a latent psychic(no joke, it gave my mother a (almost) heart attack)

**Beyond:** oooooooh. You sound interesting. Sure, why not?

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**2) Will you be my personal shinigami that will kill the people who hurt me? If the answer is yes, you can has as much jam as you want.

**Beyond:** YES! * jumps into her arms* lets ride off into the sunset!

Lawli-Chan(L): 1) When you died, did you see your parents?

**L:** yep. I get my looks form my father and my personality form my mother.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**2) Are you aware that you are awesome and that you look like a panda?

**L:** yes. I am aware of both facts.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_:_** Near: 1) I like your choice in color. Do I have permission to play with your toys and puzzles?

**Near:** thanks, but hell no.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_:_**2) Can I have a hug? Because you are awesome, you are the whole reason Light was caught out in his little 'kira' mission.

Near: sure. *huggles*

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**MELLO: You, are by far, the second most epic person I have ever seen!

Mello: second….

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**Would you like to come to a cafe called Max me? It has the best chocolate milkshake you will ever taste. I swear they make it out of nothing but chocolate!

**Mello:** yeah, sure.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**2) Will you give me one of your leather jackets? THEY ARE SO EPIC!

**Mello:** hells naw. buy them yourself.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**Matt: you are the most epic person ever! I cried when you died.(then again, I cried when everyone of the good guys died)

**Matt**: yeeup.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _** 1) Have you ever played Skyrim? It's so epic?

**Matt:** OMG YES IT IS.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**2) If you have a gamer tag for Call of Duty, let's play together some time (yes I am a girl)

**Matt:** okay~

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**3) take me for a ride in your car? Please? *puppy eyes*

**Matt**: *sigh* okay.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**LIGHT-BULB(Light): go die in a glass covered, gas filed hole! You deserve it for killing all those epic characters! (Especially BB!)

**Light:** oh yeah? Well….. You suck!

**Mello**: nice comeback, smartass.

**Light**: shut up.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**1) Why did you kill L? He was such a nice Guy

**Light:** he tried to keep me from making this world a better place!

**L**: Psssssh. Naaaaaw.

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**2) How do you feel, knowing that your mother found out you died a murderer? I'm glad your father wasn't alive to know that, he had so much father in you, just-just why? (Great! Now I'm crying!)

**Bloo:** me too *sniff*

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**You are such a bastard Light, you broke so many people's hearts! And you know what?! It's your fault Sayu is in a wheel chair, everything bad that had ever happened after you picked up the notebook is your fault!

**Light: ***dies of shame*

**Bloo:** Sayu's in a wheelchair? I knew that I should've read the rest of the mangas…

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**Ryuk: have an apple.

**Ryuk**: yay! *noms apple*

**_The Wammy House Menace_****_: _**Can I have a hug from everyone?(except light) I'm feeling sad now.

**Matsuda:** group huggles! Yay!

*huggles from everyone ('cept Light)*

**Bloo:** next is **_cometgirl2323. _**Hey gurl~

**_cometgirl2323: _**AHHH I CANT BELIVE I LEFT YOU!

**L:** duh.

**_cometgirl2323: _**oh, and by the way light I decided to be nice and write you name in the life note

**Light:** yay!

**_cometgirl2323:_** but take your death note, so come here Ryuk your now my second shinigami **woohoo!**

**Ryuk**: WOOHOO!

**_cometgirl2323:_**And now I was wondering how many apples can you eat in one day, oh and just saying since I'm very spazzy and my options change at random times ill just state I'm at the moment a kira supporter but you can't kill L or Mello or Matt or near otherwise ill just write their names in the life note again so there is your death note back.

**Matt:** that's a mouthful.

**_cometgirl2323:_**oh and thanks bb for the reply about the kiss :3

**BB**: no problem hun ;)

**Bloo**: 0_0

**BB:** don't judge me.

**_cometgirl2323:_**and now this is for being so awesome everybody

**Matt:** d'aaaaw. Thanks.

**_cometgirl2323:_**a shingami lifetime of apples for ryuk

**Ryuk:** *giddy laughter*

**_cometgirl2323:_** a _Toys R Us_ for near

**Near: **toys!

**_cometgirl2323:_** a Godiva store for Mello

**Mello:** I love you so very much.

**_cometgirl2323:_** a game stop for Matt

**Matt:** W00!1!One!

**_cometgirl2323: _**and a bakery for L

**L:** I shall call it "_L's Bakery_"

**_cometgirl2323:_**and a new kira super hero uniform for light

**Light:** *happy squealing*

**_cometgirl2323: _**and a light posing on a car shirtless poster for misa

**Misa:** Yay! Thank you~~

**_cometgirl2323:_** and a lifetime supply of jam for b

**BB:***eats it all in 12 minutes*

**_cometgirl2323: _**oh and before I forget again with the opinion change I think I now like all the guys soooooo Near Mello Matt L BB Light ... YOUR MINE! and in all your presents was a love potion so now your all in love with me! MWA HA HA MWA HA HA HA HA! So now I'll take my leave but not without good bye kisses!

**Mello;** nice try, but we had our love potion shots this week. But you'll still get goodbye kisses.

**_cometgirl2323: _**Makes out with all the guys* bye! You know what actually I'm taking you with! *takes out smoke bomb and disappears with all the guys too*

**Bloo**: damn it, I can't write a story without them. So please quit it!

_(Insert wacky chase scene where the author retrieves all the boys back)_

**Bloo**: that was tiring…. Next is—

**Light**: *runs in wearing his super hero uniform, pretending to fly* wooooooooooooooosh!

**Bloo**: *facepalm*that's it for now. I'm done. *walks out the door*

**L:** …. Wait, what?


	7. Beyond the Playa'

**Bloo: **sorry that I didn't put all of you in the last chapter. I'm getting worse and worse…

**Mello**: don't go emo on us.

**Bloo**: I'm not. At least I don't think so…

**Matt:** uh huh… introduce the first whatever.

**Bloo:** first is **_Mystique Madjik_**

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Okay... HI! :3

Matsuda: hello! :3

**_Mystique Madjik_****_:_** First of all, L do you have aspergers cause you act like it and I should know that more than anyone... I have aspergers and have always acted similarly to you... Plus a bit bipolarish... and addicted to the taste of blood... don't worry it's my own... I think... (Couldn't resist, and YES it is true)

**L:** I do not think that I have aspergers…. Maybe… possibly… no…

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**BB *Spaz attack* SJFDIDHDBNFYHSGEI *Gets over spaz* YOU ARE MINE! MINE! :D

**BB**: I repeat; I get ALL the bitches.

**Bloo**: don't call them that!

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Also is it wrong that I have a habit of having screw driver (One of those little ones that look like pens) on my person and twittling with it whenever I'm bored?

**BB**: Psssssh. Naaaaaw.

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Can I join in next time you kill? I just LOVE the color and taste of blood. (Yes it's likely I belong in a mental hospital...)

**BB**: you sure can!

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Light, *Injects something greenish looking in him* I hope you accept this 'Gift' of mine. *Grins like an idiot* For some reason I always read stories were he has schizophrenia. (I think I MAY have it... Or I can really see ghost! :D )

**Light:** oh shit, man…. I feel funny…

**Bloo:** heeheehee. He's high. :B

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Bloo, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! *Hands her a box of chocolate*

**Bloo:** SQUEEEEEE! CHOKLAT! *noms it like an animal*

*Hands Mello a box of chocolate* Mello that is for being the most badass character in Death Note!

**Mello:** THANKS!*copies what Bloo did in a slightly manlier way*

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Matt can you tell me your minecraft username? Also do you play on servers? How often?

**Matt:** sorry hun, that's a secret. I usually play on severs whenever I play minecraft, so I'd say pretty often.

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Near, FUCK YOU! How dare you toss out L's inheritance out the FUCKING WINDOWS! Mello did you know he did THAT?! I'm gonna kill that Bitch! (p.s. He does do this when he has to escape the SPK building due to Kira fans)

**Bloo:** Y U WASTE MONEYZ?! I'M BROKE AS HELL! GIVE SOME TO FUCKING CHARITY! Ok, I'm done… is anyone else craving a shamrock shake from McDonalds?

**Mello**:*whispers to L* I wouldn't have done that if you made _me_ successor…

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Misa, I like you, you need someone who really loves you instead of Light. I wish your parents weren't killed.

Misa: thank you. You're really ni—

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**AND WHY THE HELL WAS THE MURDERER LET FREE WHEN THERE WAS A FUCKING WITNESS WHO SAW HIS FACE! A FUCKING WITNESS!

**Misa:** I 'unno. I was wondering the same thing.

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Takada, please stop PMSing all over the place. Your ruining everything.

**Takada**: I CAN'T HELP IT! *cries on Misa's shoulder*

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Mikami, I surprised you didn't think of Light as a God before you knew he was Kira. Raise of hands to show who agree with me?

_*Everyone, including Mikami, raises their hands*_

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Sayu, I'm sorry you were kidnapped by Mello. *Pats on back* Mello can you apologize and give her a hug? You did traumatized the poor girl. *puppy dog eyes*

**Mello:** *awkward huggles* uh… I'm sorry. I was being an ass…

**Sayu:** its fine, really…

_*awkward silence is awkward*_

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**Also... *Pulls out life note and writes Light's name in it* I sorry Light, can you forgive me *More puppy dog eyes* You killed Beyond... so I had to get my revenge... for him... don't worry Light I still think your cool too... Well before you were Kira anyway...

**Light:** Thank you! J

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _***Throws B some strawberry jam, sits beside him and cuddles while pulling out a small bottle of what looks like blood and starts balancing small screw driver on middle finger* I think I'll stay for a while... *Cuddles closer to BB* Bloo, just to let you know I'm favoriting this story and you :) Continue with the awesomeness.

**_Mystique Madjik_****_: _**P.s. I would rape BB if I was stuck in a closet with him L... *Rapid fangirl mode* MY B! MINE! KEEP AWAY!

**Bloo: **Thanks! Make yourself comfortable~. Next is **_greyvss_**

**_greyvss_****_: _**OK...first of all I do believe I made light love Misa. But Misa, please show restraint next time. But, I'll be nice. So Light, Misa, go where ever in the world you want to go together.

**Light:** well, fuck. Let's go to France after Hawaii, Misa.

**Misa:** yay!~

**_greyvss_****_: _**Near, new, non-evil, toys for you. Also, why are you so distant from everyone to the point of not caring about them dying?

**Mello:** CAUSE HE'S A ROBOT.

**Near:** I have _one_ friend. We don't talk much though…

**_greyvss_** **_:_**Also, just explain the relationship between you and Mello.

**Near**: _Kismesissitude._

**Mello:** what?

**_greyvss_****_: _**Mello, why must you be so dang over emotional about everything?!

**Mello:** *mascara starts running* WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

**_greyvss_****_: _**Mikami. *whacks in head with monkey wrench* stop. (Clank) saying. (Clank) DELETE! (Clank, clank, CLANK!)

**Mikami:** *kicked puppy look*

**_greyvss_****_: _**So any way... L, no sugar for you for the next THREE CHAPTERS.

**L:** **_WHAT?!_**

**Bloo:** oh shit he's angry.

**_greyvss_****_: _**So that's all everyone, I'll be back to torture you guys some more later.

**Bloo:** bye bye~ next is **_mellosgoggledgamer_**. Hewwo!

**_mellosgoggledgamer_****_:_**. hai! o. mi. zelda. Mello, i don't no how but u got sexier. And you're still wearing a shirt. I can fix that:) i can also fix the fact that you're wearing pants :)

**Mello:** noooooooo, I'm good…

**_mellosgoggledgamer_****_:_**. bb! y u no kill imagay lightbulb!? i even gave u jam... o well. i forgive u :) have some jam

**BB:** yay! I didn't kill him because of the stupid author

**Bloo**: *turns to Light* you'd better be fucking happy, BB thinks I'm stupid now.

**_mellosgoggledgamer_****_:_**. matt! will u play Xbox with me? *pulls goggles down around neck to give best puppy eyes*

**Matt:** sure. Whadaya' wanna play?

**_mellosgoggledgamer_****_:_**. light. why must u be so stupid, yet be one of the smartest people in the world? u no what, don't answer that. i don't want to hear your voice. *pulls goggles back over eyes, grabs an arm full of rocks and throws them at light*

**Light:** damn it, didn't I say that stoning is illegal?!\

**_mellosgoggledgamer_****_:_**. L! sorry for pelting your boyfriend with rocks... have a cookie!  
until next time all! except mells. i'll see you tonite so i can help u with those pants :)  
(u snooze, u lose, matty!)

**Matt:** what? We'll fight if you wanna start things.

**Mello:** Matt. Shut up.

**L:** *looks at cookie sadly* I want you so bad…..

**Bloo:** next is **_Bookworm916_**

**_Bookworm916: _**THIS FIC IS AWESOME!

**Bloo:** really? Hmm. I guess I was wrong…

**_Bookworm916: _**Light, I don't hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water... I'd drink it :3 GO DIE IN A HOLE IMAGAY! *incredibly loud and scary yell* Err, sorry about that everyone.

**Erryone:** O_O

**_Bookworm916: _**BB, L, Matt, Mello and Near- you guys are the definition of awesomeness XD I has a room full of your addictions for each of you at my house, come over and you can have them *undefeated puppy eyes* please?

**L:** hell ye_

**Bloo**: sorry hun, can't have any sweets for three chapters.

**L:** T-T

**_Bookworm916 :_**BTW, I've always thought of the 5 of you as brothers, even Mello and Near what do you think of this?

**Matt:** yay I got a sister!

**_Bookworm916:_**Mello and Matt get guns to kill a Kira of their choosing coz I fell evil today.

**Matt: **WOO! Gunz!

**Mello:** *goes gun happy and shoot the Author* oops…..

**_Bookworm916: …._**Well, that's it for now *hugs Wammy boys* See the 5 of you at my house later :) BAI BAI!

**Matsuda**: bye.

**Light**: is she dead?

**Bloo:** *bleeding a lot*no…. but I got shot…..

**Matt:** *holds the author in his arms dramatically* NOOO! Don't die! I love yoooou!

**Bloo:** I said that I ain't dying. Fanfiction authors cant fucking die.

**Matt**: oh. *drops her*

**Bloo**: OW. Next is **_xXSaneXx._**

**_xXSaneXx: _**Mello, Can we be friends? I'll give you chocolate .

**Mello:** hell yeah we can be friends! Best friends!

**Bloo:** *still bleeding profusely* next is**_Mattasis_**

**_Mattasis_****_: _**1) Lightbulb: I used to be a HUGE Kira supporter, but then I switched sides... SORRY. I still love you though. Even though you caused most of my favorite characters to die...thereafter. *glares* watch your back Imagay.

**Light**: dgwufgcuwkahwvkug. THEYRE THE BAD GUYS THOUGH!

**Bloo**: you're confused, light. _YOU _kill people.

**_Mattasis_****_: _**2) Beyond: You are my favorite 3

BB: d'aaaw. Thanks.

**_Mattasis_****_:_** if you're not doing anything later want to hang out? I have a few people we can kill and a shit load of weapons plus a whole refrigerator full of jam!

**BB**: HELL YES!

**_Mattasis_****_:_**3) Mels: You are sexy and I love you. Don't get mad but I stole your gun. *runs away while throwing chocolate*

**Mello:** what? SHIT. Get back here!

**_Mattasis_****_: _**4) L: I love you panda dude! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CHESS GAME! I'll win. I ALWAYS WIN. *gives GIANT cake*

**L:** *cries in a corner* stop taunting me with sweets…

**_Mattasis_****_: _**5) Near: You are an adorable sheep. Here I brought you Toys R Us! 3

**Near:** yay! *plays with toys adorably*

**_Mattasis_****_: _**6) Matt: You are the male version of me. I love you. I think we need to have a gaming tournament, Don't worry I won't be TOO hard on you. (: Oh yeah I also may have taken your cigarettes... DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! I needed some and I have no money.

**Matt:** *pissed off look* I'll kick your butt in Mario kart.

**_Mattasis_****_:_***GLOMPS EVERYONE* see you guys laterrrrrr!

**Bloo:** bye~ next is a Guest!

**_Guest: _**Hi everyone! Firstly, Mello: we have too much in common! We both love chocolate, have amazing hair, look great in black leather and are hot in general! If you be my boyfriend I'll be your personal chocolate bitch.

**Mello**: hm…get back to me on that…

**_Guest: _**L: Be my panda buddy, I've been told many times that I smell like candy canes!

**L**: yeah, ok!

**_Guest: _**Matt: Have you ever played Dance Central on Xbox 360 KINECT? I have it. Let's play!

**Bloo**: I LOVE DANCE CENTRAL! Though I don't dance :P

**Light:** no one _asked_ you.

**Bloo:** no one_ likes_ you

**Matt**: hell yeah, I love Dance Central. Let's play!

**_Guest: _**Light: You may be a total psychopathic killer, but you're my psychopathic killer :3

**Light**: thanks! J

**_Guest: _**Toodles! *kisses for everyone* And Mello, you might want to think about that offer. I know all the best places ;)

**Mello:** eeeeeeeeeeh…..

**Bloo:** next is **_Deathday1313_**. Hey guuuurrl. At least, I'm assuming that you're a girl. Are any of you male?

**_Deathday1313_****: ***depressed* hi everyone...*sulks in a corner* Why B? I thought I was the only one for you...*growing mushrooms* Damn player...WHO AGREES WITH MEH?!

**Mello**: I do.

**Bloo**: me too.

**BB**: playas gotta play~

**_Deathday1313_****: ***ignoring BB* L, you seemed attracted to Misa, or you just REALLY LOVED that commercial in Episode 23.

**L:** SSHHHUUUSSHHH! WE SHALL NOT SPEAK OF THAT.

**Light**: ok, ok, don't speak in all caps…

**_Deathday1313_****: **Hey Light, how's Hawaii?! More potato chips for you! Also, let's kill Justin Bieber!

**Light**: yeah!

**Bloo:** WOO!

**Matt**: isn't it cruel to kill someone who hasn't his puberty yet?

**_Deathday1313_****: **Mihael-kun...I'm sorry, but...I don't want to get married yet, but I WANNA SPEND HEAPS OF TIME WITH YA! *eating chocolate* Lemme stay here for a while...PUH-WEASE *CUTEST PUPPY EYES EVA*

Mello: sure. Go sit down next to **_Mystique Madjik_** over there.

**_Mystique Madjik_**: *waves*

**_Deathday1313_****: **Matty! GAMES! CIGARETTES! YOUR CAR!

**Matt**: YES!1!one!

**_Deathday1313_****: **Nate...I got nothin to say to ya...here ya go. *presents a HUGE tower of toys*

Near: *squeals like a happy child*

**_Deathday1313_****: **Matsuda! Let's be buddies!

**Matsuda:** best buddies forever!

**_Deathday1313_****: **Mikami, GO DIE IN A HOLE!

**Mikami**: shadap. I dun' wanna'.

**_Deathday1313_****: **Takada, *tortures her* GO DIE IN A HOLE AS WELL!

Takada: *cries on Bloo's shoulder*

Bloo: *awkwardly comforts her* uh…

**_Deathday1313_****: **Misa, GO DIE IN A HOLE...nah jokes! Here. *gives her a HUGE tower of clothes*

Misa: yeah! Woo! I love you guys!

**_Deathday1313_****: **Ryuk, apples, Rem, a Misa look-a-like, Sayu, Hideki Ryuga *chucks Hideki at her*

**Ryuk: ***noms apples*

**Rem: ***disappears with the Misa look-a-like*

**Sayu**: *catches him easily* SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

**_Deathday1313_****: **Beyond, *leaves a jar of jam* Bye...*throws a HUGE knife a BB, nearly killing him* SEE YA LATER.

**BB**: woah! Stop hatin' on the playa!

**Bloo**: stop calling yourself a playa.

**_Deathday1313_****: ***glares at BB and sits next to **_Mystique Madjik_***

Bloo; last but certainly not least, **_Averon The Awesome._**

**_Averon The Awesome:_** First off: I LURVE the anime and manga of Death Note, so you guys all rock!

**L:** we love you too~

**Light**: speak for yourself.

**Bloo**: *smacks light* _RUDE_.

**_Averon The Awesome:_** Second off: I LOL'd when I saw Light 'flying' in his superhero outfit.

**Bloo**: we all did.

Light: hmph.

**_Averon The Awesome:_** Third off: Have any of you heard of Homestuck?

**Bloo;** YESILOVEHOMESTUCKITISAWESO_

**Mello**: AUTUMN SHUT UP!

**Bloo**: don't say my name out loud!

**_Averon The Awesome:_** And if so, what do you think your God Tiers would be?

**L**: Bard of Justice.

**Near:** Heir of Mind.

**Mello**: Rogue of Rage.

**Matt:** Heir of Void.

**Light:** GOD OF THE NEW WOR- I mean… Prince of Life.

**Misa:** Mage of Hope.

**Matsuda**: MATSUDA! J

**Bloo:** we love you Matsuda. Well…. That's it… bye.

**_Please review. I'm a review whore._**

**_~~Bloo~~_**


	8. dey luv da author!

**Bloo**: yoooo. So many reviews. Ohmygod. Who's first?

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Huh. Hi! Been rough since I appeared. For all of you (and me) apparently. Well, I guess none of you got diagnosed with MPD at least.

**Matt:** need a hug?

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**L: I pity you, so... Here *hands over a bag of sugar free candy* no sugar, but at least you can pick up the habit again.

**L:** THANK YOU.*noms it all*

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Mello: I've done research. Sweden is in the top five when it comes to making chocolate. Both dark and milk. Want some? *giggles darkly* you have to beg though.

**Mello:** damn it…. Pleeeeeeease can I has chocolate? *pouty face*

**Bloo**: wow, you're good at that.

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Matt: confess - is it true you're always following Mello because of the nice view *glances at a hot, leather-clad ass* and not because you're weak?

**Matt:** Damn it. My secret's out.

**Mello:** say what?

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Oh, and...Did you know that in Sweden, that smoking, driving and drinking is legal all at 18, but sex is legal from that of your 15th birthday? *leers*

**Bloo:** good thing that I'm not 15 yet!

**Mello**: Autumn, shut up, no one cares about your age.

**Bloo**: Mihael, shut up, stop saying my name out loud.

**Mello:** I can do what I want.

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Near: I had a weird dream a while ago, where I was you. And got raped by Gevanni.

**Bloo**: I read a fanfiction like that…

**Near:** *slightly disturbed stare at Gevanni*

**Gevanni**: …. I wouldn't do that!

**Bloo:** I disagree!

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_******I am slightly psychic. So...you might wanna be careful. *hugs tightly* but I promise to protect you as much as I can.

**Near:** *hugs back* thank you

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Mikami: ... *get's out bazooka and shoots you*

**Mikami:** **_*XPLODEZ*_**

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Light: I am somewhat a supporter. Because of my MPD, some personalities are with you, while others aren't.

**Bloo**: I bet that is confusing.

**Light**: yay! :D

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Oh. And don't try to get my name, since I have over twenty and none of them is a false one like with Mello or Matt. *giggles madly* goes for you too, BB.

**Light:** I wasn't gonna… but now I wanna.

**BB:** okay!

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**BB: Here. Jam. *waits patiently for you to eat it*

**BB**: nom nom nom!

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**While I wait… Watari: want some good recipes on good, sugar free stuff for L? Sweden has lots of them.

**Watari:** yes, please.

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**Ahh...time to go… can I get goodbye kisses? Preferably French ones because of a perverted personality… *French kisses all of the guys*

**_RiinaVenecara_****_:_**And BB... That jam?...it was poisoned. With cyanide. Good luck surviving, damn player. I hate your kind…

**BB:** *kind of dying* don't hate.

**Bloo:** shadap and die or something. Next is **_ohmyblitz_**

**_ohmyblitz_****_: _**I have a question for Mello!

**Mello:** okay. Shoot.

**_ohmyblitz_****_: _**Mello, will you marry Matt?!

**Mello:** sure, why not?

**Bloo**: but who's wearing the dress?

**Matt:** not it!

**Mello**: not i—god damn it.

**_ohmyblitz_****_: _**And BB, will you marry L?!

**BB:** **_*ded*_**

**L:** no. I don't marry playas.

ohmyblitz: Near, you can marry... Erm... More of your sheep kind. Like a player.

**Near:** ….. what?

**_ohmyblitz_****_: L_**ight doesn't get anyone because he's a Kira poo -.-

**Light**: :(

ohmyblitz: Thank you!

**Bloo**: you're welcome! Next is **_Averon The Awesome_**

**_Averon The Awesome_****_: _**Thanks for answering my questions earlier! And if i may ask more:  
1) Honestly, I've never heard of Beyond until this story. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I'll give you jam or jelly or whatever mashed up fruit paste you want!

**BB:** *alive again* okay, I'll let you live. For now…

**_Averon The Awesome_****_:_**

2) Matsuta: I think everyone in the police force thinks you're a derp.

**Matsuda:** SUGAR PEAS!*holds up a bowl of sugar peas*

**Bloo:** drop them!

**Matsuda:** *drops them* okay!

**_Averon The Awesome_****_: _**3) *sarcastic clapping* Great job Light. You're going to be the God of Homestuck if you had that title.

Light: shutup….

**_Averon The Awesome_****_: _**4) What would you do if Beyond or anyone else killed Light?

**Matt:** we'd celebrate.

**Light:** fuck you all

**_Averon The Awesome_****_: _**5) L: Why so serious?

**L:** BECAUSE I'M SUFFERING SUGAR WITHDRAWL!

**_Averon The Awesome_****_: _**6) Near: I think your adorables! X3 Can I have a hug?

**Near:** okay. *huggles*

**Bloo**: next is**_Gavroche T_**.

**_Gavroche T_****_: _**HAI! I love all of you! Except you Light... :3

**Bloo**: same here!

**_Gavroche T_****_: _**Near! Hi! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! CAN I MARRY YOU! Please! I'll buy you a Toys R Us!

**Near:** uhm… okay.

**_Gavroche T_****_:_**I think it's stupid when people call you a sheep. You aren't a sheep! Even though you did baa once...

**Near:** let's not talk about it.

**_Gavroche T_****_:_** Anyways here are my questions for all of you:  
What is your favourite movie? Mine is Les Miserables! I cried when Les Amis died and when Gavroche died (/.\)

**BB:** 'Hannibal' is my favorite movie. I also like 'IT'.

**Bloo:** *scared glance at BB* those movies are creepy as hell.

**BB:** exactly.

**Matt**: I like 'Death Becomes Her'… its funny. Oh! Or any good Jim Carrey movie.

**Mello:** I don't care.

**L**: I don't watch movies.

**Bloo:** you two suck

**Light:** I like Madagascar.

**_*everyone looks at him*_**

**Light:** …. What?

**_Gavroche T_****_:_**What is your favourite manga? Mine is Death Note (Obviously), Naruto and Bakuman!

**L**: I also enjoy Death Note.

**Mello:** Fullmetal Alchemist and -man. Maybe Naruto.

**Matt:** Legend of Zelda and Naruto.

**BB**: Sailor moon.

**Bloo:** ...you think you know a guy…

**_Gavroche T_****_: _**And also, Matsuda, if Near won't marry me, will you?

**Bloo:** *possessively grabs Matsuda's shirt* MIIIINE! For now, at least.

**Matsuda:** o_O

**_Gavroche T_****_: _** I thought you were GOD DAMN AWESOME WHEN YOU SHOT LIGHT!

**Matsuda:** thanks! I thought s too!

**Light:** *grumpy mumble grumble*

**_Gavroche T_****_: _**Light, Misa, Takada and Mikami I HATE YOU ALL! Especially Misa and Takada. Idiots!

**Mikami:** no, YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

**Light:** YEAH!

**Bloo:** Light, Mikami, it takes one to know one.

**Misa**: *starts to cry*

**Takada:** * goes to the emo corner*

**Bloo:** ugh. Now I have to comfort them.

**_Gavroche T_****_: _**Well bai! Much Love Gavroche T

**Bloo:** ****Bye bye. Next is **_TeamKira. _**Oh god.

**_TeamKira: _**Hi guys! This question is for L and Light.

**Light:** of course it is.

**_TeamKira: _**There are a lot of yaoi fangirls out there who pair you guys together in their imaginations and even write fanfictions about it. Would you two ever consider being lovvvveerrrs? XD(Sorry Misa...)

**Light:** maybe.

**L:** no

**Misa:** I agree with L

**Light:** he's just playing hard to get.

**Bloo:** shut up. Next is **_Deathday1313_****_._** Sup?

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** WOOO! YOU UPDATED!

Bloo: I know, right?!

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** *whispering* L, here's a carrot stuffed with sugar, go eat it somewhere...

**L:** thank you so much. *noms it in one bite*

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** *waving* Hi Mystique!

**_Mystique Madjik_****_:_** hello!

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Mello, *chucking stuff* chocolate, guns, leather, a rosary, a motorcycle and...MORE CHOCOLATE!

**Mello:** *catches them easily* thanks!

**Bloo:** why'd you get him more guns?

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Woah Rem, easy on the Misa look-a-like *looking at it* I think you tore it apart...

**Rem:** don't judge me.

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** BB, ONE jar of jam, *chucks another HUGE knife at him* Damn sexy killer...

**BB:** *ducks just in time* if you guys keep attacking me, I'm gonna get my posse an' were gonna kick yo' asses.

**Bloo:** posse?

**BB:** Pennywise, Slenderman, and Hannibal.

**Bloo:** ….those are horror movie villains and a video game character.

**BB:** shut up.

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** NOES LIGHT! BIEBER IS UNKILLABLE! WHY?!

**Light:** too many 13 year old girls and 30+ year old men love him too much.

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** anyway...more chips!

**Light:** CHIPS! I love chips.

**Bloo:** we know.

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Misa, SHOPPING SPREE!

**Misa**: YAY!

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Sayu, HIDEKI RYUGA CLONES!

Sayu: I LOVE YOU~~~~

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Near, TOYS!

**Near:** thanks. I'll just add them to the pile.

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Matt, GAMES! CIGARETTES!

**Matt:** why are you showering us with gifts?

**Bloo**: don't question the nice lady.

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Watari, a cup of tea.

**Watari:** thanks you. *sips tea*

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Aizawa, how do you feel about your afro being cut off?

**Aizawa:** * bursts into tears*

**Mello:** oh shit.

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** BLOO! LXLIGHT STUFF!

**Bloo:** omg yay!

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Mikami, undo.

**Mikami:** what? Why- *head explodes again*

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** *sitting next to Mello* Just so everyone knows, I am able to get all this stuff thanks to L's inheritance. And don't try to kick me L; I'm the only one who can support your sugar supply for 2 more chapters!

**L: ***mumbles grumpily*

**_Deathday1313_****_:_** Hey Bloo, let's play with the LxLight stuff :D

**Bloo:** hellz yeah. Next is **_ChocoholicBrunette14_**.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: Hey guys! And it's ok that you couldn't answer that question. Also BB apologize to Bloo for calling her stupid.

**Bloo:** *turns to BB expectantly*

**BB:** … are you serious? I am not apologizing.

**Bloo:** if you don't, I'll cry.

**BB:** I don't care.

**Bloo**: *bursts into tears and almost drowns Beyond*

**BB**: ack! Okay! I'm sorry!

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: OMGIFREAKINLOVEHOMESTUCKSOMU CH!

**Bloo:** OMGIALSOLOVEHOMESTUCK!WHOISYOURPATRONTROLLWHOISYOU RFAVORITECHARACTER?ILOVEYOU!

**Mello:** *slaps Bloo* this is a DEATH NOTE fanfiction. We only talk about DEATH NOTE here. Okay?

**Bloo:** yeah yeah, whatever.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: And hehehehe BB a playa, I love it.

BB: at least _someone_ appreciates it.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: Matt: I know I'm gonna sound crazy when I say this but I'm a huge fangirl of you. So here are some smokes and portal 3. Also Matt, why didn't you let Imagay kill Beiber?

Matt: thanks. And i was just kidding. I really don't like JB.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: Mello: I still love you! Your meh favorite! *hands you A LOT OF CHOCOLATE*

**Mello:** I think I might get diabetes.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: L: its ok, it'll be over soon but since you're so awesome, I hear by lift your ban!

**L:** YAY! *pigs out with sweets*

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: Light: I liked you before you were Kira but then you went and killed one of my favorite characters.

**Light:** everyone says that…

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: Takada: I suggest running away now *has a fully loaded machine gun pointed at her* Say anything or I'll kill you for killing Mello

**Takada:** *runs away so fast that her speed rivals a cheetah's*

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_**: That's all I got BYE!

**Bloo:** bye bye! ~ Next is **_Bookworm916_**

**_Bookworm916: _**GOD. This is the first fic I've ever reviewed that has still updated... Bloo, you are now my fav author EVER!

**Bloo:** *sniff* I love you guys so much…

**_Bookworm916: _**Mello, I said you could shoot KIRA not the author. Since she is now my favorite, you don't get the chocolate Mt Everest I bought you XP

**Mello:** DAMN IT!

**Bloo:** can I have it then?

**_Bookworm916: _**Poor, poor L! No sweets for 3 whole chapters D: you can still have the room full of candy when it's over though ;)

**L:** I know I'm not religious, but BLESS YOU. YOU ARE AN ANGEL.

**_Bookworm916:_**With the brothers thing, I didn't mean I thought of you guys as MY brothers (although that would be so epic and all my friends would die of jealousy), I meant that I thought of the 5 of you as brothers, don't kill me if you disagree or I will sic the voice in my head on you all! (She's called Jackei and can swing a battleaxe half her height and weight with one hand.) I don't want to do that though, but I am gonna sic her on the Kiras.

**Mello:** *looks at Matt and Near weirdly* Yeeeeaah… we can't be related.

**L:** I AM BIG BROTHER L!

**Bloo:** this*gestures to L going crazy* is what happens when you suffer sugar withdrawal.

**_Bookworm916: _**That's all for now, BAI!

**Bloo**: bai bai! Next is **_Mystique Madjik_**

**_Mystique Madjik: _**Guess what

My friend found out how BB came to be

**Everyone:** le gasp!

**_Mystique Madjik:_**Turns out it all started with Jeff the Killer, then he becomes BB and goes to jail, but for a very brief time in between he was the Joker! :X

**BB:** wow. I did not know that.

**Bloo:** but that's YOU!

**BB:** I have a bad memory.

**_Mystique Madjik:_**Sorry I love you Beyond! *Glomps BB and sits in lap* my friend was afraid to wake me up in class when I fell asleep because he thought I was gonna kill him Which I would've tried to.

... I wouldn't be surprised if BB was a Creepy Pasta...

**Bloo:** ….

**BB:** what?

**_Mystique Madjik:_***Waves a box of homemade cookies in front of L* I'm such a troll Only sometimes :3

**L:***snatches the cookies* mine!

**_Mystique Madjik: _**Err... Where can I get rid of this? *Holds up bloody sweat shirt* Please? *Also holds up knife* I couldn't resist... It was sitting beside B from when Deathday1313 through it So Yeah XD

**Bloo:** Watari and I will dispose of those for you.

**_Mystique Madjik: _***Grabs another jar of strawberry jam and gives it to Beyond* All better?

**BB:** yeeup.

**_Mystique Madjik: _***Sits on B's lap and cuddles with laptop, playing minecraft* Hmm... Should I change my fanfiction name to my minecraft name... *Pulls out bottle filled to the brim with blood* Okay, we're all good over here Awesome job Bloo

**Bloo:** thanks! That's all I can do for today, guys. I deeply apologize if I didn't get to you this chapter. I am going through _things_. I just moved and I have NO internet connection. So next chapter shall be coming…. Not very soon.

**Mello;** boo, you suck.

**Bloo:** shut up or I will hug you to death.

**Mello:** *shuts up*

**Bloo:** okee BAI.

_**~Bloo~**_


	9. Lap Dance

The author walks in, pretty pissed about her current situation. "Yeah, sorry about not uploading anything in FOREVER. You must hate me… I just turned another fucking year older. And sorry about typing _paragraphs_, but people were on my ass about it. Plus, I don't think you guys would want this story to be deleted, so… yeah. This is just a test run. If you guys don't like it, then I'll go back to normal. But until then…" She sits down and proceeds to have a tantrum.

Mello looks at her with mild confusion before turning to the first guest. "You go first, I think. Introduce yourself."

"Hiya Awesome peoplz! ****Thank you for actually answering my questions!"

"Thanks for asking!" the author said, stopping her annoying hissy fit.

"Here is something you should all know about me my alias is **_Reject_** or **_R_**, I am L's third successor during the time of B and A. The reason I am called 'The Wammy House Menace' is because I pranked a lot of people."

Mello looked at **_R_** in slight distaste. "Yeah, I remember you! You melted my chocolate!"

**_Reject_** ignored his comment. "BB, I am not a bitch! I dare you to say that again," **_Reject_** held an AK-47 that appeared out of nowhere. "But thank you for accepting my proposal!"

Beyond decided to sit down and curl into fetal position. For protection, of course. Not because he had a perfectly rational fear of AK-47s.

**_Reject_** then turned to L. "aw how sweet! Can I help you solve a case some time?"

L smiled and nodded. "Sure. I'm working on a case now. It's called the case of L's missing panda teddy. It's a very important case.

**_Reject_** looked at Near next. "Near, screw you ya little sheep! ... Hehehehe SHEEP! EHEM SORRY! I just think you're such an adorable little sheep/lamb boy! Thanks!" she then proceeds to hug Near tightly. He tries to escape, but fails quite miserably.

**_Reject_** drops the sheep and turns to Mello. "Mels! Wanna come with me to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!? Oh and sorry for saying you were second right now you're actually my first fav DN character!"

Mello looked at her with enough curiosity to kill a cat, but dropped it. "Yeah, I'll go. Willy Wonka is one of my IDOLS.

**_Reject _**then leaned in to wisper9loudly0 in his ear. "psst asshole! Share your awesome wardrobe with your superior!"

He gave her a disbelieving look. "Superior? Hell no. my clothes are only for me!"

She pouted and turned to Matt. "Matty! OMK! (Oh my kira!) Finally! All the other gamers I know say Skyrim sucks!" Matt nodded, completely agreeing. "I know, right? What's up with that?"

"Yeah, Cool. GET READY TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED BIACH!" she shouted, ready to go.

He laughed cockily. "YOU WISH. I AM THE KING OF GAMES!"

The author butted in. "No, legally, the title 'king of games' belongs to Yugioh." He turned towards her and pouted. "Shut up, I didn't mean literally."

**_R_** ignored their small conversation. "Matt, your car is so epic!"

"Thanks! It is pretty amazing." He bragged, not noticing Mello roll his eyes in boredom.

"Imagay. I...don't wanna talk to you...you ASSHO-"

Just then, a Near look alike with black hair and black pajamas flew out of nowhere and hit **_R_** upside the head. "Control your emotions!" he yelled and he disappeared.

"OW! FUCK! Far what the hell was that-oh he already left."

"Thanks Far!" Light yelled to no one in particular.

Near looked at her with a blank face. "I don't want to know." He then joined Beyond in a fetal position.

**_Reject_** turned to Misa. "You are the picture of fangirlism!" she said, pointing to Misa.

"I am? Yay!" the ditz replied, bouncing happily.

"Mikami, are you related to the cybermen? And say backspace!" she sad to the creepy guy in the corner. Mikami turned towards **_R_** and frowned." Yes I am and I will not say it." Man, he was a bitch.

"Takada! Bitch! You killed Mello! Prepare for a world of hurt! You better watch your back!" Takada also went into fetal position, seeing that it was the only reasonable option.

**_R_** smiled at Matsuda, holding a cookie. "MATSUDA. Have a cookie. :)" Matsuda took the cookie and did a cute little happy dance.

'Rem, what happened to your eye?" she asked the shinigami.

"I thought falling from a tall tree was a smart thing to do."

"Bloo! You are sooo awesome!"

The author smiled. "Thanks! You're awesome too!

"I will definitely be back to torture you again!" she said as she disappeared.

"We'll be waiting."

As soon as **_R _**left, **_mellosgoggledgamer_** walked in and sat down.

"Hello again! :3"

The author waved while the others muttered their hellos.

"Matty, we're gonna play team fortress 2 and I'm gonna win." She lights a cigarette and sticks it in her mouth. "I always win. My username is -playagame?-."

Matt scoffs and proceeds to brag about how no one can defeat him and shit like that.

"Near," she sits on the floor with him. "Why do you like robots so much?" Near pauses to think about the question.

"I can relate to them." He says.

"Here you can have this one." She gives him a very nice robot toy. He thanks her.

"Now tell me honestly, do you have a crush on Mello?"

"I used to bu—"

"WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM, HE'S MINE!"

Near shut up and walked away, annoyed because he was interrupted.

"Mihael, you didn't think i forgot about you, did you?" She walks over all sexy like and unzips his leather vest. "How could i?"

"What's happening?" Mello asks. She kisses him and steals the piece of chocolate currently in his mouth. "I'll be right back!" she says as she bounces away happily.

"…YOU STOLE MY CHOCOLATE! AND A KISS!"

The author laughed her ass off as Mello had a mini tantrum and Matt tried to kill **_mellosgoggledgamer_** with his glare.

She bounces over to Matsuda. "Matsuda! Hai! :3 do you like waffles?"

"Yes, I like waffles!" he says happily.

"Alright, Mihael, where were we? She wraps arms loosely around his neck and kisses him 'till she's out of breath. "You're good. I'm staying here." She sits next to Mello and pulls out laptop to play games with Matty.

Matt and Mello share the same disbelieving look while Beyond and Bloo have a giggle fest.

"Hahaha! N-next is a _Guest_!"

The **_guest_** walks in with a knowing smile. "Kismesissitude. Homestuck... That is all I'm gonna say xD" after they said that, they walked back out, quite proud of him/herself.

That caused Bloo to laugh harder.

**_QueenAly_**walked in, and introduced herself.

"AHHHHH IM NEW HERE SO FIRST OFF…hai :)"

The author smiled. "Hello!"

She smiled back "ok now for questions."

**_"_**L, you are the greatest in like the world and when you died…I can't even say it cause it hurts every time I think about it."

"thanks." L said.

"For you I give you strawberry shortcake." she gives him the cake. He proceeds to eat it in one bite.

"BB; I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU BB! Light never should have killed you! You're the most wonderful hot ass killer that can probably top anybody for you knives and jam!" she gives jam and knives.

BB hugs her tightly and smooches her forehead. "Thank yooou~"

Bloo looked at him in confusion. "Why you so nice?"

"she's new." He responded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. The author rolled her eyes.

**_QueenAly_**turned to the only blonde in the room**_. "_**Mello; I. love. you! You and Matt also being my couple I ship are the best people ever! Like you will always be number one in my book and near will always be number two cause he is an emotionless little sheep plus the scar is dead sexy on you!" Mello copied BB's example and hugged the girl tight.

The author boredly played with Near's hair.

"But I know my boundaries since Matt would probably kill me in my sleep if I took you away…"

"Damn right I will." He sharpened his scythe that no one knew he owned.

"For you guns, and chocolate and LEATHER!" she gives guns and chocolate AND leather. Mello has happy spasms.

**_QueenAly_**looked at Matt.**_ "_**Matt, I LOVE YOU! As much as I love Mello…me being the gamer I am I understand the wanting to play so hours on end in a dark room with no one to disturb you.

He puts down the scythe to place his arm around her shoulder in a friendly way. "finally, someone understands!"

She smiles. "You have an awesome car and when you and Mello died I died a bit inside ;;"

The author silently agrees.

"btw why don't you ever, I don't know, spend time with Mello and not games? I know it's hard but be committed."

Matt had no words to say to that comment.

"and for you games!" she gives games.

"Near; you can be ok at time. Mello is just the one who influenced me to like you less than him, but hey I still like you." she gives him toys.

He politely says thank you.

"Light; look, your god-complex was a bit much for me like before you killed everyone I loved. I would have been like "ok well he could maybe be ok" and then you killed L…you went too far. I mean, killing your boyfriend- really Light? REALLY? Can you get any lower? you will get nothing but a pat on the head." She pats his head. He pouts.

"FOR THE REST OF YOU~" she huggles everyone else. "Bai Bai I shall be back!"

The author waves goodbye to **_QueenAly_**and waves hello to **_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_._**

"hey girl!'

"YAY! You're doing awesome BlOo!"

Bloo smiles and thanks her and continues to mess up nears hair.

"And my favorite homestuck character would have to be either Nepeta or Kanaya (get this! My dad is Eridan, my mom and sister are Sollux and I'm Karkat...pretty messed up right?)"

"Wow. That is very messed up, yes. I like everyone except Vriska and i—" Mello punches her in the head and tells her to keep hamsteak out of death note.

"Matt; it's ok and I hate JB too! And I'm glad you're ok with me being your fangirl and all (though I think you've gotten used to it by now)"

"Yeah, it's hard being famous." He does an obnoxious pose while Matsuda and Bloo pretend to be his raving fans. Mello resists the urge to punch something.

"Mello; Have the chocolate Mt. Everest (just don't get diabetes ok!)"

"It's probably too late for that!" he starts to eat the mound of diabetes.

"L, how's the candy now that you're unbanned?"

L proceeds to break into song about how candy is the love of his life. Seriously, there are fireworks and doves and everything.

"BB; All the jam in the world OR all the weapons in the world?"

Beyond thought about it for a few minutes. "Jam. I have enough weapons for now."

"Light; yeah that's really true and I knew one day you would finally go crazy and snap  
Goodbye!"

"No I won't! Shut up!" he pouts and has a silent tantrum.

"bye bye!"

**_Averon The Awesome_** walked in, being all awesome and such.

"I IS BACK!" they laugh evilly. "...Hokay, so I was gone for no time whatsoever. Sue me.  
FIRST OFF! Again, sorry Beyond. Hey, have you ever tried honey? I haven't, but I've heard that it's good. From what my headshed says, it's basically bee jam!"

"Bee jam? I'm trying that." Beyond said.

The author intervened. "Actually, it's bee mucus—"

"Bee jam!" they both yelled, ignoring Bloo.

"SECOND OFF! If you guys were Pokémon, what Pokémon would you be? (I expect Light to be something really funny. X3)"

"Me too" the author replied.

"I believe that I would be a Mareep." Near said. The author giggled.

"Mightyena!" Mello said. Everyone just stared.

"MUDKIP" Matsuda yelled. No one was surprised.

"I'd like to be a Monferno." Mat said, playing Pokémon at that moment.

Light smiled his creepy ass smile. "I would be Arceus!"

He said proudly.

"No you wouldn't." said Mello.

Light frowned.

L pondered the question. "Hm… maybe a Teddiursa or something. I don't know much about Pokémon…"

"I am Snorlax." The author said, very proud of herself.

**_Averon The Awesome_**nodded. "THIRD OFF! Out of all of the Death Note characters (that I knows about) I think it's a tie between L and Near. Sue mah face."

"Okay." Mello proceeds to call his lawyer (L) about a lawsuit.

"FOURTH OFF! ...DO THE HARLEM SHAKE!" they commence in an epic Harlem Shake with them.

The author stares, 'cause she don't dance.

**_Asylum Ambush_** bursts in, ruining the Harlem Shake.

"AWWW YOU PINKIE PRWOMISED ME A LAP DANCE WITH BB BEFORE YOU POSTED CHAPPY 8! T_T I never get what I want..."

The author jumped up. "OMG I AM SOOOO SORRY! Beyond! C'mere!"

"uuuuugh." Beyond turned on some saucy music and strutted towards Bloo and **_Asylum Ambush_****_. _**He then proceeds to give her the most inappropriate fully-clothed lap dance _ever._

"..."

"there, happy?" he says, turning off the music.

"…Can I go to that closet," she points to a closet in the corner. "And take Beyond with me? NO JUDGING MY MASOCHIST/SADIST SELF!" she grabs BB. "I'm still taking him to the closet!" she grabs a knife. "I may need this." She smirks evilly and drags BB to closet, goes inside and locks it.

"ooookaaaaay." The author went to take some aspirin. She came back smiling and relieved.

Okay. Last but CERTAINLY not least, **_I Am The Real L_**

**_I Am The Real L_** struts in like they own the place. "Hey sup I'm bak. btw i am a male. i have changed sides i no longer like the protagonist. i favor the antagonist"  
they wait for what the others will say.

No one says anything, not really caring. Except Matsuda and Bloo, not knowing what protagonist and antagonist meant.

"the antagonists are the wammy boyz and L." **_I Am The Real L _**clarified.

"B nice job w/ being a player bro. maybe u can give me some pointers."

Beyond smirked and wrapped an arm around the other's shoulders. "Where do we begin? There is soooo much to learn!"

Beyond was ignored. "Misa i want you to go out w/ L and like it or you must wear old people cloths"

"Wow. Nice grammar." Bloo said.

Misa looked at L in disgust. "Misa will wear the old people clothes, thanks."

L frowned. "Now I'm offended."

"light are u gay?"

"Psssshhh. Naaaaw." The author said, using so much sarcasm that it hurt.

Light pouted and flipped everyone off.

"L enjoy misa (; i know for a fact L is not gay."

"Damn Straight! L said, hugging Misa tight.

"GET OFF!" Misa said, hitting L with her random Gucci purse.

"Is that the same Gucci purse from my other story?" the author asked.

Misa hid the purse, staying quiet.

"….. goodbye everyone." The author bowed and everything faded to black.

There was no applause.


	10. Everybody Loves L

**_I am way to fucking lazy to do that fucking paragraph shit._**

**_Averon The Awesome_****_:_** Hey guys! I'm here agaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiin! And I brought someone!

**Vriska:** Heeeeeeeey guuuuuuuuys. ;;;;)

**Bloo:** *grabs a shovel and attacks the huge 8itch*

**_Averon The Awesome_****_:_** This is my patron troll, the Scorpio, from Homestuck. She crippled a child trying to kill him. He's the Taurus. :3

**Mello:** do I look like I give a fuck?

**Tavros:** i'M, uH, oKAY NOW,,,

**Bloo:***shoves Vriska and Tavros into another room* let's just get to the questions.

**_Averon The Awesome_****_:_** What are your Zodiac signs?

**Matt:** Aquarius bitches!

**Misa:** I'm a Capricorn!

**Watari:** I am a Taurus.

**Takada:** Cancer

**L:** Scorpio

**Bloo:** *holds shovel threateningly*

**Mello:** Sagittarius.

**Matsuda:** I'm a Sagittarius too!

**Bloo:** *laughs*

**Mello:***snatched her shovel and hits Bloo with it*

**Near:** I am a Virgo.

**BB:** my birthday is unknown, therefore so is my zodiac sign.

**Bloo:** …..you mysterious little fucker. Um… I'm an Aries.

**_Averon The Awesome_****_:_** Second question: If you've met the trolls, which one is your favorite?

**Mello:** I guess kitkat or whatever his name is.

**Matt:** I dunno. Probably Sollux.

**Light:** uh… does Hussie count?

**Bloo:** no.

**Light:** then I like that Eridan guy.

**Misa:** I like the cute one!

**Everyone:** ….

**Matsuda**: I like Tavros.

**Tavros:** *from the other room* tHANKS,

**Takada:** i like _Vriska._

**Bloo:** *tackles Takada*

**Near:** I prefer Kanaya.

**L:** Terezi.

**BB**: me and Gamzee are bros. we go to the same therapist!

**Bloo:** I can't pick ;n;

**_QueenAly_****_: _**Yay thank you for answering my questions last time!

Bloo: no problem.

**_QueenAly_****_: _**To the author (Bloo): forgive me I should have praised you for your wonderful work :)

**Bloo:** It's not that wonderful! But thank you anyway. You are amazing :)

**_QueenAly_****_: _**To L: if you were still alive what would you be doing now?

L: I'd be a fireman! Or the president.

**_QueenAly_****_: _**Second, cake -gives cake

**L:** *noms cake*

**_QueenAly_****_: _**To BB: BB would you take me in as an apprentice or servant I have jam -gives jam- and my own butcher knife -pulls it out-

**BB:** yes, I shall. First lesson; devise a plan to kill Justin Beiber.

**_QueenAly_****_: _**To Mello: So if possible can I be in the Mafia I am a sharp shooter with my very own sniper, I'll give you chocolate everyday and worship the ground you walk on -smile and gives chocolate-

**Mello:** *noms chocolate* sure, why not. But no slacking off.

**_QueenAly_****_: _**To Matt: I wanna play games with you especially bioshock infinite pretty please -holds game out-

Matt: okay, but get ready to lose~ *sets up the game*

**_QueenAly_****_: _**To Near: how are you today?

**Near:** I am very good, thank you for asking. How are you today?

**_QueenAly_****_: _**To Matsuda: HIIIIII -waves-

**Matsuda:** HELLOOOOO! *waves back*

**Bloo:** oh look, a new guest.

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Hello I usually just lurk around in the shadows, and read the conversations the fans have with all of you... and I decided that I want to join in on this fun! So, once again, hi!

**Everyone;** hello.

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**And before I ask my questions, I have to say... Why does everyone shower the Wammy kids with gifts, then be mean to Light? BULLYING IS WRONG, KIDS.

**Bloo:** yeah! Bullying is wrong!

**Mello:** bitch, you're the one doing most of the bullying!

**Bloo:** *sulks in the hypocrite corner*

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _** I'm surprised Mello hasn't gotten too fat for his leather yet.

**Mello:** *covers the slightly rounded tummy he has* sh-shut up…

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Okay, now for my questions. Mello. Have you ever gotten so upset with the fact that you'll always be in second place, that you've ended up crying and/or hurting yourself?

**Mello:** I don't wanna talk about it. *cries not-so-manly tears*

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Matt... Even if Mello hurts you a lot, or takes away your games, or pushes you away, or pretends not to love you, would you honestly stay with him?

**Matt:** *doesn't even look up from his game* yep.

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Near. All I have to ask is this- are you and Linda an item now, or what?

**Near:** what? I- um… well…. Um…. *mega blush*

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**L. Oh my Jeevas, L, I love you. (I'm sure not as much as a certain Death Note owner does, but still. *nudge nudge, wink wink*)

**Light:** what? I- um… well…. Um….

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**A very serious question for you... Chocolate or vanilla?

L; WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT?! It's such a conflicting question… uh… both?

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Light! Hello!

Light: hello.

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**I'm not like everyone else... You're actually one of my favourite characters.

_*gasps heard everywhere, someone from somewhere throws a chair at her*_

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**I see no reason to hate you... Everyone seems to think you're a crazy, power-obsessed psycho... I think you just chose the wrong path to try and make the world a better place.

**Light:** *pouts* I don't think it was wrong…

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**So, here's my question: If you had the chance to never pick up the Death Note, would you?

**Light:** of course I would have never picked it up! That thing causes way too much trouble.

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Misa girl, you are awesome. I love you, okay? My question for you is this... W-would you like to go shopping w-with m-m-me? *smiles awkwardly*

**Misa**: yes! Finally, a shopping buddy!

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Matsuda, wanna hug?

**Matsuda:** *nods and tackle-hugs her*

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Mello, once again... If Matt proposed to you, would you marry him? (gah, I know people have asked practically the same thing... But I'M doing it with better grammar! *grins*)

**Mello:** if I say yes, will y'all leave me alone?

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Matt, this is a demand. Propose to Mello. Marry him. Make m-preg happen. Name your child Link. Do it. NOW.

**Matt:** *salutes and drags Mello into an empty room*

**Mello:** wait, what? No- matt! Stop!

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**BB... you're pretty awesome. *pats his head* wanna be friends?

**BB:** yes! Let's go play with legos!

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**And my last question for the lovely Bloo! :D

**Bloo:** lovely? Well, ok, if you think so.

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Miss Bloo, are you doing all right? I just want to make sure you're okay... and I like the original format of the story better, not the paragraphs, in case you were wondering. xD But really, I just want to make sure you're all right, even though I don't like, talk to you.. ever... hehh...

**Bloo:** I'm fine, thanks for asking! :) and I don't plan on tying paragraphs for a very long time. It is very difficult for me.

**_chibichocolate1313_****_: _**Sayonara! *smiles, waves, and leaves a single chocolate bar behind*

**Bloo:***snatches the chocolate bar and hides it*

**_Deathday1313: _***walks into the room* Wow...wow...wow...um...sorry I just want stay here and watch where this now-improved story goes.

**Bloo:** that shit's over. I am not productive enough to type complete sentences.

**_Deathday1313:_**

*sits next to BB* Damn those people who just report stuff whenever they want.

Bloo: agreed.

**_Deathday1313:_**Um...oh yeah! *punches BB* You burned my eyes when you lapped danced.

**BB:** ow! You abused my beautiful body!

**Bloo:** no he didn't.

**Mello:** *stumbles out of the room, shirt gone and pants sagging* I almost got rapped!

**Matt:** it's not rape if you like it~

**Mello**: sh-shut up!

**_Deathday1313:_** L, Mello, Matt, Light, Misa, Matsuda and Near, here. *pushes a load of presents towards them*

**L, Mello, Matt, Light, Misa, Matsuda and Near:** yay! We love you.

_(the author obviously got very lazy)_

**_Deathday1313:_** And I'm staying here. I'll eat, sleep, poop, do all that type of stuff here, nobody will make me move. Continue on with the story :)

**Bloo:** okay. Tell us if you need anything.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _**Ok, Mello, can you PLEASE let Bloo and I talk homestuck for like, five mintues?

Mello; never.

Bloo: yes.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _** I don't like Vriska either! The way she treated Tavros was horrible! But the reason why she did it was because she wanted Tav to stand up for himself and that was the only way she knew how as well as that's the way she was raised and the thing she turned to was Mindfang's journal.

**Bloo:** she' still a huge 8itch.

**Vriska:** I heard that!

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _**WOW L that was something and did you see anything strange, weird, or funny when you had light's room under surveillance?

L: he likes the spice girls. _A lot._

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _**Oh Matt you, you sexy beast you *hugs Matt*.

**Matt:** *hugs back* yeah, I know.

**Mello:** *gags overdramatically*

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _** Light, EVERYONE knew you would go psycho!

**Light:** that is not completely true!

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_: _** BB, stay boss, and Near, have some toys cause I'm nice like that.

**BB:** don't worry, I'll always be bo-

**Bloo:** Beyond, please shush.

**Near:** thanks for the toys.

**_Asylum Ambush:_**YYEEESSHHHHHHH! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! BLOO! YOUR DA BESTEST EVAH!

**Bloo:** thanks. You too. :)

**_Asylum Ambush: _**:3 I'm calm now Sooo Do you like my new name peoplez?

**Matsuda:** yes! Its beautiful!

**Mello;** new name?

**L;** it's very nice.

**_Asylum Ambush:_**I'm happy Beyond. You didn't have to try and kill me in that closet…

BB: oh, I did have to.

**Bloo**: is that correct grammar?

**BB**: *pewdiepie voice* I DON'T CAAAAARE.

**_Asylum Ambush:_** But then again... I did leave some cuts on your torso and arms... Very deep too... *Looks at bandages on myself and Beyond* :3

**BB: **;)

**Bloo:** *backs away slowly*

**_Asylum Ambush:_**L, I always thought you were asexual, Are you not?

**L:** I like to think of myself as asexual.

**_Asylum Ambush:_**Light, one of my oc's, named Frown, wanted to ask you something... She said "What is that which you do?" Don't ask... I don't even know what she wants...

**Light:** What. Why. How.

**_Asylum Ambush:_**Misa, I feel sorry for you... Don't eat any food for the next day... Smile plans on poisoning it...

**Misa:** oh noooo! :(

**_Asylum Ambush:_**Mello, AJ said she wanted to kill you... I asked why and she said because you kept trying to kill/tramatized people... And that it is HER job to do that...

**Mello:** *also backs away slowly*

**_Asylum Ambush:_**Matt, "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

**Matt**: yes… my online pet died the other day. *cries*

**_Asylum Ambush:_**Watari No one wants to talk to you, why?

**Watari:** I am not sure.

**Bloo:** you're too awesome, that's why. *hugs Watari*

**_I Am The Real L:_**sorry for the grammar but i was pressed for time.

**L;** _I _AM THE REAL L, DAMN IT.

**_Asylum Ambush:_**Light why do you hate Misa? i mean she is intel- well she is pretty

Light: I don't hate her, I just get annoyed easily. And yes, she is very pretty.

**_Asylum Ambush:_**Misa have a cookie.

Misa: yay!

Matsuda: pouts8 I wish I had a cookie.

Misa* shares the cookie with Matsuda*

**_Asylum Ambush:_**it was a love potion. it will last until the beginning of chapter 13. It contains L's DNA. which means you will love L.

**Bloo**: I love how you assume there will be a chapter 13

**Matsuda**: oh poop.

**L:** looks at Misa and Matsuda warily* uh…

**_Asylum Ambush:_** Matt do you like legend of Zelda?

**Matt;** OF COURSE I DO.

**_Asylum Ambush:_** L I know where your panda teddy is. Light took it. it's in his room.

**L**:*sprints towards light's room*

**_Asylum Ambush:_** Light how dare you take Panda Face ? you are truly evil.

**Light:** I was just playing around, jeez…

**L:** *comes back holding and whispering to Panda Face* it's ok, daddy's here…

**_Asylum Ambush:_** Bloo how do you stand light. i can't even talk to him without getting nauseated.

**Bloo:** I have this weird obsession with hair, and his hair is the silkiest… *pets Light's hair like a creeper*

**_Asylum Ambush:_** L what did you do when you were seventeen like you said in that one episode? Did you stalk Misa?

L: that is top secret information that only I, BB, and Watari know.

**_Asylum Ambush:_** goodbye.

**Bloo:** bye bye!

**_mattasis'2.0:_**Hey so this one is just for Matt. Just so you know, I was the original. I have goggles, I'm obsessed with stripes, smoke like a chimney, and DOMINATE games. I was real way before you were even a concept and I've been this way my whole life. *smirks* I love you but, you're kind of copying me bro. How does it feel to know you're a copy of a girl? That's almost worse than how much Mello looks like a chick!

**Matt**: *grabs a gun* time to kill a bitch

**Bloo**: ain't that going too far?

**Matt**: 'ain't' isn't a word, Bloo.

**_mattasis'2.0:_***blows a kiss and flips everyone off* I LOVE ALL YOU CRAZY BITCHES! 3

**Mello**: we love you too?

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Hello there my beautiful kittens!

**Mello:** _kittens?_

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**So, anyways, I'm new.. But just act as if I've been a person you've known for a while, I hate when people act "nice" for no damn reason. Oh and call me F it's just easier. Anyways... I would like to say a few things:

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Mello: I seriously love you.. I just want to say my family thinks I'm crazy because of how much chocolate I eat and you made it even worse than before. It got so bad that on Halloween ((last year of course)) I ate all of my cousins', my younger siblings', and my own chocolate, pfft I even traded my Skittles for chocolate with other children on the block, then I had my first ever sugar rush. *mouths Thanks*

**Mello**: you're welcome. *smirks proudly*

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Matt: I love you too because I am a fellow redhead, well it's more auburn but it has red. Also I completely understand you, when I was around 5 ((I'm 13 now)) I was sucked into video games, by the time I was 9 I hated going outside and I spoke as if the characters in the video games were real. *face palm*

**Matt:** finally! Someone whoo truly understands me!

**Bloo:** what about the three or four other reviewers who feel the same?

**Matt: …**

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Near: I loved you like a lot.. You were my favorite at one point and I used to fan girl so bad. Yep... but I kind of don't like you as much but you're still cool, ya know? Oh and here *kisses his cheek*

**Near:** *blushes and hides his face in his hands*

**Bloo**: near, stop being cute, you're giving me diabetus.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Watari: I literally cried when you died, like seriously. You remind me so much of my late grandfather, just so kind and sweet, pretty damn awesome too, and he always kept me stocked up on candy :3 *hugs him*

**Watari:** *hugs back* thank you.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**L: Hey L, so you basically ruined my life. Ever since you appeared in the show I became obsessed. After finishing it not once, but five times, I still cry because of your death. Also you stay up all night and like never sleep right? Yeah I do that a lot.. it's a condition.. Oh and I love strawberries, there awesome, and I have a strawberry birth mark ((it's really shaped like a strawberry)) above my ear but I tend to hide it with my hair. *hugs L* Stay awesome.

**L:** thank you. *hugs back awkwardly*

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Light: You WERE cool, when you were innocent. Just go die. Now. I seriously dislike you, with a burning passion. But I'll be nice and give you a hug.. *hugs him quickly*

**Light:** oh okay.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Misa: Seriously, why him. You deserve better. And put on some damn clothes!

**Misa:** *fawning over L* what? Okay.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Mikami: Hi.. that's it. *smiles*

**Mikami**: hello. *smiles back*

**Bloo:** *pets Mikami's hair like a creeper*

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Beyond: Hey dad! Did I mention you're my dad? Yeah well you are, if you want of course.. So, I love jam. No lie, I've loved jam since I was like 4 years old. But I'm more into chocolate, candy, and _nutella_ now, but don't worry jam still has a place in my heart. *touches my heart* Well erm, thanks all. *hugs B*

**BB**: I knew that woman was pregnant! Well, it was nice to see you, daughter-of -mine.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Matsuda: Hi, my friend loves you. That's it! *hugs Matsuda*

**Matsuda:** * hugs back*

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Bloo: Great job with this! I love you, but in like a best friend sort of way. *hugs Bloo*

**Bloo:** *hugs* yay! I love you too!

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Oh yeah, *hugs everybody I didn't hug* and sorry if I forgot anybody but I love you all *mumbles* except Light...

**Light:** *flips her off*

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_: _**Well, that was a lot.. *awkward pause* Bye guys! Stay weird, young, and crazy!

**Bloo:** bye!

**Matsuda and Misa;** *staring at L lovingly*

**Bloo:** …

_**I might not be able to update any of my stories for a while. I usually write at home and post at school, but school will be over soon, so….**_

_**Yeah, I'm sorry 'bout that.**_


	11. Funnel Cake

**_All those spe_****_lling mistakes last chapter made me want to puke. I blame it on the fact that I went to an amusement park two times that week, and I was high on funnel cake. Mmmmm… funnel cake….._**

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** Oh my god Light the Spice girls? I'm just gonna go abscond to god tier now.

**Light:** you can hate all you want. I don't care.

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** Anyways, what's you guys God tiers? Mine is either Knight if shade, Bard of death, or Thief of hope. I can't decide which one! Though knight of shade sounds AWESOME!

**BB:** we already answered this question, yo.

**Bloo:** yo?

**L**: I'd be Bard of Justice.

**Near:** Heir of Mind.

**Mello**: Rogue of Rage.

**BB:** prince of blood.

**Matt:** Heir of Void.

**Light:** Prince of Life… but I'd rather be GOD of the World.

**Bloo:** *pushes Light into a corner* be quiet now.

**Misa:** Mage of Hope.

**Matsuda**: MATSUDA! :)

**Bloo: **I'd be heir of breath!

**Light:** you can't be John.

**Bloo**: awh! Why not?

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** And Mello...GO READ HOMESTUCK NOW! I'll give you chocolate if you do!

**Mello:** *mumbles and goes to the website* WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?

**Bloo:** *laughs*

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** Matt: who was your patron troll again?

**Bloo:** dang it, you didn't say yours last time!

**Matt:** oh. Sorry. I'm an Aquarius.

**Bloo:** *laughs again*

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** Light: NO ONE LIKES ERIDAN! NO ONE!

**Bloo:** I like Eridan….

**_ChocoholicBrunette14_****_:_** BB: You know Gamzee?! Well it does make sense that you do and tell him I say hi!

**BB:** yeah, me and Gamzee are good friends. We meet up with Slendy on Fridays for poker.

**Bloo:** and you didn't invite me? *pout*

**_Siiillltt_****_: _**I hate all of you except Mikami and Near.

**Bloo:** well shit. They hate us.

**_Siiillltt_****_: _**The rest of your are arseholes, don't forget it.

**Matt:** oh okay.

**_Siiillltt_****_: _***Kicks L in the nuts.*

**L:** *falls over and groans in agony*

**_Siiillltt_****_: _***Slaps Light*

**Light:** what the fuck.

**_Siiillltt_****_: _***Punches Mello*

**Mello:** *punches back and continues to read the web comic*

**_Siiillltt_****_: _**Eh, Matt's alright.

**Matt:** yessss

**_Siiillltt_****_: _***Makes Matsuda rape Sayu*

**Bloo:** _no we don't do that here._

**_Siiillltt_****_: _**Mikami, why are you so hot?

**Mikami:** I am not sure…

**Bloo:** neither am i…

**_Siiillltt_****_: _**Near, why are you so hot? And adorable?

**Near**: It's in the genes.

**Mello:** *laughs*

**_Siiillltt_****_: _***Makes Mikami rape Near*

**Bloo**: _NO WE DON'T DO THAT HERE._

**_Siiillltt_****_: _**Bye :)

**L;** good riddance!

**_Averon The Awesome_****_:_** I enjoy talking to you people. ::::33

**Bloo:** we enjoy talking to you too! :)

**Mello**: speak for yourself, I dont care about these bitches.

**Bloo:** DON'T CALL THEM BITCHES! Why do you guys call everyone bitches?!

**Mello**; well, you call everyone ni—

**Bloo**: SHUSH!

**_Averon The Awesome_****_:_** Light, I want you to fight someone for me. The winner gets a Death Note and some waffles. That person is... MATSUDA!

**Matsuda:** *he gets a serious expression and brings out the guns* ready to go, bitch?

**Light:***screams like a little girl and hides behind Watari*

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Light, I'm in a pissy mood (I really don't wanna talk about it) so I want you to be tortured for the rest of your life, I will kill you with my bare hands and will laugh when you finally- *takes in a deep breath* Okay no I need to calm, Ed Sheeran is on.. calm.. calm. *smiles*

**Light:** *cowers behind Watari*

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Light did you do something to your hair?

**Light:** no, I don't believe s—

**Bloo:** *starts to pet his hair again*

**Light:** _stop it._

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Oh yes, so I'm married to Mello? So Mells, you up for it?

Mello: what? No. wait. Yes? I don't know anymore.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Probably not but you know what whatever I got my new video games, ahh Zombies.

**Matt:** yeah, zombies.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Near, you're a adorable just saying.

**Near:** thank you.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** L and Beyond, so anyways I was in the store when I ran into two guys, both had messy black hair, one wearing white shirt and light blue jeans, the other wearing all black, the one wearing all black had red contacts, but anyways I had like a billion chocolate bars in my hand and they stared at me. The red eyed one came up to me and called me Mello and I laughed then he said I was his daughter and I almost died then the other complimented my on my birth mark but I had my bangs in the way so how could he see it? Then I stayed up rocking back and forth in the corner thinking I was being stalked, so basically I believe you two are stalking me.

**BB:** that's because _we are_!

**L:** omg plot twist!

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Matt, I also saw a guy that looked like you at... Godiva! I hugged him and he called me cute then when I blushed he said I was as red as my hair *face palm*

**Matt**: that was you? Ooooh, now it makes sense.

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Watari, can you please be my grandfather? Please?

**Watari**: of course

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Oh, and announcement: I "have" to get married to certain orders? So if Mells doesn't want to marry me then who does? :D You don't have to I'll marry that wall over there *points to my wall*

**Matsuda:** I'll marry you! :)

**_Forever-Like-Kryptonite_****_:_** Well, I love all of you and I'm really tired but I'm not so yeah bye!

**Bloo**: bye~

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**Hey guys! And Bloo!

**Bloo:** Hewwo!

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _** I'm new here so I might as well introduce myself. My name is Kira!

**Bloo:** that's such a beautiful name!

**Light**: *scowls at Bloo*

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**I like rainbow! Wow that was random.

**Matt:** yes, very random.

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _** Anyway, you might notice that I didn't say my last name. You're all smart, you know why. I value my life thank you very much.

**L:** clever girl.

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**Ok! Now for the queeeeessssttttiiiioooonnnnnsssss!

**Mello:** ugh.

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**Mello: how do you cope with being second? I'm always second so...you know... I kinda need advices.

**Mello:** just think positive thoughts, try to be happy. I like to torture little near dolls. *pulls out a doll that looks like Near and rips off his head*

**Near:** *hides behind Watari*

**Watari:** where does your body go when you died? I only see L's funeral ad not yours. Please don't tell me they forgot you! My poor Watari! You're like a grandpa to me!

**Watari:** they scattered my ashes in the Niagara Falls. It was all I ever wanted.

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**All: anyone has a Scorpio horo? I'm a Scorpio right here!

**L; **I'm a Scorpio.

**Bloo:** *hisses and grabs a shovel*

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _** And what is your favourite game? And I mean one only so Matty you can only name one. I know you have a WHOLE selection but plz keep it simple and easy for Bloo ok?

**Bloo:** thank you.

**Matt:** Uh… Minecra-no. Mario. legend of Zelda? Pac man? Um… Megaman- I CHOSE POKEMON.

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**BB: how's my favourite killer doing? I still have some jam over here...somewhere...wait a sec... Ah! Here it is! Look what I got here B! Jammmmmmmmmmmmmmm ;)

**BB**: *pounces and steals the jam* mine!

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**Bloo: i have a question for you if that's ok.

**Bloo;** yay a question for me!

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**How on green Earth do you keep these baboons (excluding Watari of course!) in line? I admire you! No, really! Must take lots of effort to keep them behaved.

**Bloo:** I threaten them with affection. *attempts to kiss Light*

**Light:** eww! Noooo!

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**And don't worry Near! I love you! As much as I love Mello, and Matt, and Watari, and L, and... Oh you know what I mean!

**Near:** tank you *cute smile*

**_roselleshinigami_****_: _**Bye bye for now! I'm kinda busy! Ah places to see, things to do, people to kill... See ya around, folks! *in Darth Vader's voice* I'll be back *insert Kira's laugh* See you tonight, B! Remember to bring the knife! I got the target readied!

**BB:** awesome! See ya!

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _**HELLO! I'M SO FREAK'N HAPPY!

Bloo: yay?

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _**BB: I know you love me!

BB; of course.

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _**Light: Why do you even date Misa? She's pretty, but not your soul mate!

Light: you guys confuse me so much.

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _**Misa: Here's a nice hot cup of coco.

**Misa**: yay! *sips coco happily*

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _**L: *Throws cookies at him* Those will help with you sexual problems because we all know your sweets-sexual! (Troll!)

L: *gasp* how did you know?

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _**Watari: Here's some nice Earl Grey tea. *Hands him tea*

Watari: thank you.

Bloo, why did you change "I Am The Real L"'s name to mine!?

Bloo: IT WAS AN ERROR! I APOLIGIZE! I AM SOOOOOOOO SOOOORRY!

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _**Well! Bye! *Whispers* For now!  
*Police men and AJ appear*

**_AJ:_** I'M NOT GOD! I SWEAR TO DRUNK YOU DAMN PIGS!

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _** WTF? . AJ? I thought you were just inside my head.

**_AJ:_** Well Me, Jeffy, and Slendy where take'n a nice stole in ur head then cought Madjik-ly beeeeerrrrrr! 8D Now we's here!

**_Asylum Ambush_****_: _** O_o Everyone run for your lives or help restrain her. I need to go find Jeff and Slendy. Their all drunk by the way and deadly! *Runs off*

**_AJ:_** *hic* I's not at legal drink age none! *Sits on BB's lap* Now how's 'bout some fun! *Pulls out knife and passes out hugging to BB with a death grip*

**BB:** WAT.

**_Scorn-fed:_**Before you started posting, you agreed to comply with the rules and guidelines of the site. Under those rules, interactive stories are not allowed. Nor is script format. Your story breaks both those rules. Agreeing to abide by them and then deliberately ignoring them is a little dishonorable.

Please read the rules again and make sure you understand them.

Story reported for violation.

**Bloo:** I feel like these are death threats ;;

**_I Am The Real L_****_:_** to start off um you labeled me as the asylum ambush. i didnt like that.

**Bloo:** *cries * I'm sowwy!

**_I Am The Real L_****_:_** L i am a re-incarnation of you.

**L:** asdfjkl;

**_I Am The Real L_****_:_** anyway Matsuda take the antidote of my awesome potion and give any to Misa and i will end you.

**Matsuda:** *drinks antidote and hides behind Watari*

**_I Am The Real L_****_:_** and thats all i wanted to say. L behind you Light is writing your name in the death note! burn it.

**L:** *takes death note And burns it*

**Light:** I'm freeeee!

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ No frickin' idea if you're still doing this but- HEY. :D

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ Light: Did you know in the future this dude tried to do the same thing as you? Yeah, he's called Lelouche :D

**Light:** I hate him

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ Mello: You have a doppleganger. She's my rival. Or is she your twin sister? O:

**Mello:** no.

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ Near: I get confused, bro. How'd you get the death note? And I have suspicions you might have used it... CONFESSSS.

**Near**: I had it for other reasons…

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ L: You are by far my favourite. But did you know I have the other 21 letters of the alphabet here with me? :D

**C:** Hey

**D:** Why does my name look like a sad face. Jeez.

**E:** o.o

**F:** ... Why on earth am I here?

**G:** Aren't we all dead?

**H:** yeah apart from me and V because somehow she survived all this o.o *points at a lady stood next to her*

**V:** Hello L.

**L:** hi

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ Okay, so the others won't speak D: but they say hi :D

**Bloo**: hello!

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ Rem: Explain to me clearly WHY killing L stopped Misa from dying? What? I've watch it four times and don't understand.

**Rem:** i… don't know.

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ Mikami: Is your pen really that sharp? o.o Blood explosion o.o

**Mikami:** yep.

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ BB: JAM. Slendy also says hi.

**BB;** SUP SLENDY!

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ Misa: I know three people just like you. FML. :D

**Misa:** I wanna meet them!

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ L again: Did you know you have a kid? Guess which of the 21 left with.

**L**: I'm a daddy?!

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ Matt: I BET I COULD THRASH YOU ON HALO. Whaddaya say? Lets put a bet on it.

**Matt:** youre on.

**_TheMadScientist_**_:_ I think that's it from meeeee! Maybe. Tah tah I'm off to continue with murder- *cough* mad science! ;D

**Bloo:** bye!

**_SORRY. ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE._**


End file.
